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Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
How Perfectionism and Impostor Syndrome Keep You Stuck (and How to Break Free)
The Sh*tty Alliance: How Perfectionism and Impostor Syndrome Create Mountains
The feeling of being stuck is a unique kind of agony, a state of paralysis made worse by a constant, looping internal monologue that actively sabotages you. Even when the plan is clear, this voice can keep you stuck. For the ambitious entrepreneurs and creatives I work with, it’s a familiar battle that determines whether their mind becomes their greatest ally or their biggest enemy.
This internal standstill is often the product of two powerful forces working together: perfectionism and impostor syndrome. Understanding how they operate is the first step toward dismantling their power over you and reclaiming your freedom.
The Nature of Our Internal Roadblocks
When you’re wrestling with doubt, your own mind works against you. It creates imaginary barriers that feel impossibly high - mountains, as I like to call them, turning your own creative potential against you.
It's great that you have so many creative ideas and see so clearly what the picture-perfect version of them COULD be, but that is precisely what is stopping you from taking action. Because now that perfect picture is what your inner critic wants to go for, and it's quick to judge and let you know you'll never get there. Wrong!
Your Inner Critic is a Bully
My clients often describe their inner critic with scary clarity. It’s a "very loud and rude" voice, a "big ol’ bully" that relentlessly tears down every new idea. This critic loves to tell you that you're "not good enough" or that your vision isn't original because it has "already been done." One entrepreneur I worked with even felt a sense of vertigo when she imagined achieving the success she craved, as if her mind was physically restricting her from rising higher. This internal bully thrives on keeping you small and safe from your own ambitions.
It loves it when you create mountains, because it will do everything it can to make you believe you cannot climb them.
The Paralyzing Fear of Failure and Criticism
Many of us are taught to fear failure, believing that any attempt must result in absolute success. This black-and-white thinking is the heart of perfectionism. It isn’t just about having high standards; it’s a defense mechanism against judgment - and I believe, a result of trauma in many cases as well. Perfectionists don't just calculate business risk; they calculate "perfectionist risk," the odds that someone, somewhere, will criticize their work for being flawed. This fear makes every action feel impossibly high-stakes, leading to analysis paralysis and way-too-familiar procrastination.
The Self-Sabotage Cycle
When fear gets involved, the inner critic becomes a master of self-sabotage. It encourages you to "yes-but" every opportunity, killing your momentum just as things start to gain traction. It’s a strange paradox, but many people are more afraid of success than of failure. The unknown territory of achieving your goals and the new expectations that come with it can be more terrifying than staying in a familiar state of struggle. I've experienced this in my own life many times, and I've heard many clients speak of the same: this unconscious fear prevents you from ever finding out what you're truly capable of.
The Nagging Impostor Narrative
Over time, this relentless internal doubt becomes your story. You make a decision, but immediately start questioning it. Eventually, you regret it and believe you should have picked the other option. All in the name of what other people might think of you if you failed, or how your life is ruined now that you made this bad choice that you can never undo.
It’s the voice of impostor syndrome, making you question your own capabilities. One of my favorite creative clients, feeling financially and professionally stuck, confessed to me that he felt he had "failed his younger, ambitious self." Another client once wondered during a session if she was a "lost cause," questioning whether the potential she once saw in herself had simply evaporated. This narrative can become so powerful that it convinces you to abandon your dreams, prioritizing fake stability over the risk of chasing a greater goal.
Understanding these patterns is crucial, but liberation comes from actively challenging them with new ways of thinking and acting.
Strategies to Reclaim Your Power and Take Action
Overcoming perfectionism and impostor syndrome requires a conscious effort to push back on your negative thoughts and create new behaviors. It’s about learning to act despite the voice of doubt, not waiting for it to disappear.
Question the Fear Itself
It’s a well-known acronym for a reason: Fear is often False Evidence Appearing Real. Research suggests that a vast majority, as much as 85% (and, I'd argue perhaps even 90%-95%) of what we worry about never happens! When you feel trapped by anxiety about what could go wrong, you are operating from a script of negative potential. The first disruptive act is to question that script. Ask yourself: What if it works out? Intentionally shifting your focus from worst-case scenarios to positive possibilities is a powerful way to get unstuck.
Shift Your Perspective
The inner critic thrives in the narrow, self-absorbed world of "I." It's all about "me, me, me" for that inner voice. To break free, you must step outside of this egocentric view. One powerful coaching technique I use is to ask clients to re-describe their problem from a third-person perspective. When I asked one founder what advice she would give her best friend or her own child if they were facing the same career obstacle, her entire narrative changed. The excuses she had built for herself were instantly reframed as surmountable challenges, rather than mountains.
Act Before You Have the Courage
Perfectionism causes creative and entrepreneurial projects to never take flight. Or, when you do find the energy to start, that same perfectionism will stall your progress with negative thinking. The antidote is not more thinking; it's action.
Courage is not a prerequisite for taking a step forward; it is the result of taking that step.
As I remind clients often and write about in my book, you simply cannot think your way into a new life or a new business. You must choose to go out and do it, even when - especially when - you feel afraid.
Redefine Readiness as a Decision
Waiting to feel completely confident is a trap. It keeps you perpetually waiting for tomorrow, just like Godot.
Here's a truth that has transformed my clients' careers: Being ready is a decision, not a feeling. That sense of capability you’re searching for almost always shows up after you’ve taken the leap and realized the task wasn't as difficult as you imagined. To short-circuit the overthinking cycle, use a practical tool like the 5-Second Rule by Mel Robbins: if you have an instinct to act, you must physically move within five seconds, or your brain will kill the idea.
Micro-dose Fear with Experiments
For those paralyzed by the fear of rejection or failure, taking small, manageable risks is essential. I call this "micro-dosing fear." By incorporating small real-life experiments into your routine (something I enjoy doing with my coaching clients), you can reprogram your nervous system. Each small step, like sending that one email, making that one call, proves that you can experience fear and excitement without anything terrible happening. This practice gradually expands your comfort zone until it’s large enough to hold your biggest goals.
The journey out of the stuckness of perfectionism and self-doubt is a process of remembering your own power. It's about choosing to move forward based on what is true right now, rather than waiting for a guarantee of certainty that will never come.
Now go out and do the thing. I believe in you!
Are you ready to break free from perfectionism and impostor syndrome once and for all?
Imagine what’s possible when your inner roadblocks are cleared away and when self-doubt turns into creative power so that you can move forward with clarity and confidence.
If you’re longing to feel true momentum but don’t know where to start, let’s make it real together. Book a free coaching session with me and discover how personalized coaching can help you reclaim your power, define your next steps, and finally create the career or business you’ve been dreaming about.Frequently Asked Questions
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Perfectionism is the belief that everything must be flawless to succeed. While striving for excellence can be motivating, perfectionism often leads to self-doubt and procrastination, hindering career growth by creating unnecessary pressures and delays.
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Impostor syndrome makes individuals feel like they don't deserve their success, despite their qualifications. This mindset often leads to underperformance, missed opportunities, and reluctance to seek promotions or take on new challenges.
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Start by identifying the root causes of your self-doubt, such as perfectionism, impostor syndrome, or a fear of failure. Then, set realistic and actionable daily goals and celebrate small victories to build confidence over time.
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Personalized coaching provides tailored strategies to target your unique challenges, providing clarity, accountability, and actionable steps. This support empowers you to confidently achieve your career or business goals while overcoming self-imposed limitations.
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Without clear next steps, it's easy to feel stuck or overwhelmed. By defining actionable steps, you can break large goals into manageable tasks, creating momentum and sustaining long-term progress in your career or business.
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Consistently taking small steps enables incremental progress, reducing the risk of burnout. Over time, these actions compound to yield significant achievements, proving that progress doesn't require perfection - just persistence.
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Addressing self-doubt quickly allows you to reach your full potential, seize more opportunities, and build confidence. Tackling these challenges today creates a stronger foundation for future professional or business success.
The Generalist's Dilemma: Overcoming Procrastination & Inaction with Grit
You know the feeling. The project sits there, perfectly planned in your head. You've researched, outlined, and maybe even created a detailed timeline. But somehow, weeks pass, and nothing concrete has happened. You're a creative generalist by nature. You've accomplished plenty in your life, and want to do so much more still. Yet here you are, stuck in the gap between intention and action again, quitting a project in mid-air while unable to start the new one.
This is the generalist's dilemma, and it's particularly painful for multi-passionate professionals who see endless possibilities but struggle to bring them to life - or keep them going without straying.
When "Just Do It" Isn't Enough
The standard productivity advice assumes that your problem is either a lack of motivation or a lack of clarity. "Just start," they say. "Break it into smaller steps." But you already know what needs doing. You've broken it down. You've set the deadlines. The issue isn't a lack of knowledge, it's the mysterious desire to keep researching instead of building, planning instead of launching, and perfecting instead of sharing.
For creative professionals with multiple interests, this stuck feeling often comes from a deeper place. You see connections others miss. You understand the complexity of what you're trying to create. You know it could be better, more integrated, more thoughtful. This awareness becomes both your gift and your trap. Because now you've created a mountain in your head, and you want to climb it in one go.
The Perfectionism-Procrastination Loop
Here's what really happens in that space between intention and action: perfectionism disguises itself as preparation. You tell yourself you need one more course, one more research phase, one more week to "get it right." But creative generalist perfectionism isn't about standards; it's really about fear. Fear that your work won't match your vision. Fear that others won't understand your unique perspective. Fear that you'll be judged for trying something that doesn't fit neatly into existing categories. Fear that it will be too much work - like getting on top of a mountain in one step.
The irony is that your many interests and high standards, the very things that make your work unique and different, become the blocks that keep you from creating your work.
Grit vs. Grinding
This is where grit comes in, but not the "grind harder" version that leads to burnout. True grit isn't about forcing yourself through misery. It's about developing the psychological flexibility to act despite uncertainty, to move forward with incomplete information, and to trust that iteration beats ideation.
Psychologist Angela Duckworth defines grit as "passion and perseverance for long-term goals." When you're stuck in inaction, you've usually lost touch with why this project matters to you. You're focused on how it might be received rather than why it needs to exist.
The path out of multi-passionate overwhelm starts with reconnecting to your why, not the logical business case, but the emotional pull that made you care about this idea in the first place.
The Minimum Viable Action
Instead of asking "How do I make this perfect?" start asking "What's the smallest action that would make this real?"
This isn't about lowering your standards. It's about understanding that excellence emerges through iteration, not through extended planning phases. You must embrace being agile in creating. Your first attempt doesn't need to be your final piece of art or project, it needs to be your first proof of concept.
For one creative entrepreneur I worked with, this meant publishing a single blog post instead of waiting to launch a complete content platform. For another generalist, it meant having one conversation with a potential customer instead of building an entire market research plan. In each case, that minimum viable action broke the spell of perfectionism and created momentum.
The Power of "Good Enough to Share"
Creative generalists often struggle with what researchers call "analysis paralysis," the inability to make decisions when faced with multiple good options. You see so many ways your project could evolve that you delay starting until you can pursue all of them simultaneously.
The antidote is embracing "good enough to share." This doesn't mean accepting mediocrity, it means understanding that shared imperfection beats private perfection every time. When you share early versions of your work, you get real feedback that's infinitely more valuable than your inner critic speculating about how it might be received.
Modern tools, including AI productivity tools, can help bridge this gap between vision and execution, allowing you to test ideas quickly and iterate based on real feedback rather than imagined criticism. Whether it's using simple automation to validate market interest or leveraging AI tools for creative professionals to help with initial content creation, technology can help you move from thinking to doing with less friction.
Building Your Action Muscle
Like any skill, taking action despite uncertainty gets easier with practice. Start with low-stakes experiments. Choose projects where failure is informative rather than catastrophic. Give yourself permission to be a beginner again.
Set what I call "learning deadlines" instead of perfection deadlines. Instead of "Launch the perfect course by December," try "Get feedback from 10 people on my course outline by October 15." The first creates pressure to be perfect. The second creates momentum toward improvement.
This approach is particularly effective for portfolio career development, where you're building multiple income streams that need to work together harmoniously rather than perfectly from day one.
The Compound Effect of Small Actions
Here's what happens when you choose action over analysis: each small step gives you information you couldn't have discovered through planning alone.
More importantly, you start building evidence that you can follow through on your ideas. This creates an upward spiral: the more you act, the more confident you become in your ability to act, which makes future action easier. This is how creative generalist success stories are built: one imperfect action at a time.
Moving Forward
The projects sitting in your "someday" pile aren't just abandoned ideas, they're future opportunities waiting for you to develop the courage to be imperfect in public. Your unique perspective and multi-disciplinary thinking are exactly what the world needs, but only if you're willing to share them before they feel finished.
Whether you're building a portfolio career, developing multiple income streams, or simply trying to turn your passions into something meaningful, the gap between intention and action closes not through better planning, but through practiced courage. Start where you are, with what you have, imperfectly but consistently.
Your ideas deserve to exist in the world, not just in your mind.
Struggling to move from intention to action on your creative projects?
I provide career coaching for creative generalists to break through perfectionism and build sustainable momentum toward their biggest goals.
If you're a multi-passionate professional ready to stop planning and start creating, let's talk about how one-on-one coaching can help you bridge that gap.
The Paralysis of Perfectionism: Why "Good Enough" is Actually Perfect
Many people find themselves stuck, unable to move forward in their personal or professional lives. I know because I see a lot of them in my coaching practice. They feel held back not by a lack of ability or opportunity, but by an internal struggle: perfectionism. While seemingly a virtue and a very helpful quality to achieve your goals, the quest for perfection and flawlessness often becomes an obstacle to your goal, leading to procrastination, self-doubt, and, ultimately, getting and staying stuck.
After a decade of supporting creative generalists and entrepreneurs to get unstuck, I know how perfectionism impacts our drive and productivity. So before even trying once again to "just do the thing," look inward. Are you setting yourself up for failure by creating unrealistic expectations? Are you holding yourself back through negative and destructive inner chatter? If that is the case, trying harder won't make you finally move forward. Instead, you must shift your mindset and mentally recalibrate: you must transform how you see perfection and understand it's an illusion created by fear to keep you safe.
What is Perfectionism, Really?
Perfectionism is often misunderstood as simply striving for excellence or having high standards. However, again, after doing this work for a decade, I can tell you it goes way beyond that. At its core, perfectionism is an all-or-nothing approach to life. It's the belief that anything less than perfect is unacceptable and dangerous. This mindset is paralyzing, as it sets an unattainable standard - a mountain, as I often tell my clients, that we expect to climb in one step!
The High Cost of Chasing Perfection
Perfectionism may manifest differently in different people, but it always comes with a heavy cost:
Procrastination: The fear of not meeting impossibly high standards leads to delaying tasks. First, you create the mountain in your mind. Then, you procrastinate because it's too big of a task to climb it all at once.
Analysis Paralysis: Relentless overthinking and analysis prevent taking action. You're always thinking, trying to figure out how to reach the top of the mountain, but never actually taking the first step.
Self-Sabotage: The inner critic undermines confidence, fostering a belief that you are simply not good enough. If you were, you'd be on that mountain top already!
Lack of Creativity: The pressure to create something perfect will damage your capacity for innovation and experimentation. Instead of figuring out how to make it to the top, you'll be stuck in a rut, coming up with underwhelming ideas, not knowing how to begin.
Burnout: Always creating mountains for yourself, aka unattainable goals, leads to exhaustion and a loss of passion. How could you not get tired, always giving yourself impossibly high climbing levels?
These are only a few of the many negative effects or causes of perfectionism. One that is particularly powerful in keeping us stuck is what we say to ourselves. Let's take a closer look at that inner voice and how it keeps us from achieving our goals.
The Inner Critic's Sabotage
A common theme among my clients is the destructive voice of the inner critic. This voice whispers nothing but doubts, focuses on flaws, and convinces us that our efforts will invariably fail. Some examples of how this inner critic keeps us stuck include:
"No one will buy that; don't waste your time."
"This has been done before. It’s not original."
"There is nothing special about this."
"I don’t deserve that because I am not good enough."
"I will fail, lose money, and everyone will hate me."
"Making it is hard, and I will suffer."
One of my clients described his inner critic as saying, "Look, the mountain is beautiful but too high for you to climb it." Another client's inner voice was even more brutal, declaring, "You’re not going to be good at expressing your ideas...nothing you do will ever matter." This relentless negativity chips away at self-worth and destroys the courage to pursue a life worth living.
The Antidote: Embracing "Good Enough"
The key to breaking free from the paralysis of perfectionism lies in embracing the concept of "good enough." This doesn't mean settling for mediocrity. Instead, it's about recognizing that striving for excellence is valuable, but demanding perfection is self-defeating. "Good enough" acknowledges that limitations exist - of course they do! But it allows you to progress, learn, and grow without the crippling weight of impossible expectations (and imaginary mountains to climb).
Here are some strategies to help shift your perfectionist mindset to one that embraces "good enough:"
Challenge the Inner Critic: Actively question the negative thoughts and beliefs that cause your perfectionism. Are these thoughts realistic and helpful? Are they really true? Or are they based on fear and unrealistic expectations?
Set Realistic Goals: Break down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Make them so small that you can't even make a mountain out of them anymore. Celebrate small victories along the way to build momentum and confidence.
Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: Shift the focus from the end result (the top of the mountain) to the process of learning and growing (climbing your way up slowly). Accept that mistakes are part of the journey and valuable growth opportunities.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. If you wouldn't wish this pressure on someone else, don't put it on yourself.
Embrace Imperfection: Actively look for opportunities to be imperfect. Share your work even if it's not flawless, leave things unfinished (by your standards), and let others see the process rather than the result. It will be freeing, I promise!
Set Time Limits: Instead of striving for endless improvement, set a realistic deadline and commit to finishing the task within that timeframe (hello, I see you; I know it's hard!). This prevents projects from dragging on indefinitely and allows you to move forward.
Celebrate "Done": Acknowledge and celebrate the completion of a task, regardless of whether it meets every expectation. With your high standards, things will never be "done," so you might as well just let them be what they are.
Redefine Success: Change your definition of success from doing everything perfectly and at the highest level to your personal growth journey, finding meaning in your work, and focusing on your well-being first.
Some Case Studies in "Good Enough"
The Entrepreneur: Savannah started and stopped many entrepreneurial projects because they "didn’t quite feel right." After having her daughter, she realized she was working on interesting things, but they "didn’t truly come from my heart." She found her purpose by shifting her focus to postpartum care and wellness and coaching for new mothers.
The Creative: Connie feels she has "the soul of an artist, even if I don’t have the skill (yet)." Rather than waiting until she has the perfect skills, Connie can embrace her creativity by experimenting, learning, and sharing her work. By cultivating a growth mindset, she knows growth comes through practice, not innate talent.
The Career Changer: Kathryn wants personalized, results-oriented help with a career transition. By making the most of her existing skills and experience, she can create a solid plan that focuses on progress today rather than an unattainable ideal in the future.
Conclusion
As I have witnessed in my life and through working with many gifted and talented people, you think being perfect will be gratifying, but it only causes frustration and stagnation: you get stuck and stay stuck.
By aiming for "good enough" instead, you can free yourself from unattainable expectations, move closer to your innate potential, and experience the joy of progress, creativity, and meaningful achievement instead of the pain of never reaching the top of the mountain. You can Get Unstuck!
Take the first step toward progress and Getting Unstuck
Perfectionism can keep you trapped in a cycle of frustration and inaction. Constantly striving for an unattainable goal leads to self-doubt, procrastination, and a sense of failure, preventing you from reaching your goals and experiencing true fulfillment.
Are you ready to break free from the chains of perfectionism and start achieving your goals? Are you ready to finally get unstuck? Take the first step now - sign up for a free coaching session with me today!
How procrastination masks perfectionism
I’ve wanted to be an author for as long as I can remember. When I started writing a few years ago, I would spend most of the session editing. I would go back and forth, adding words and deleting or rearranging them. It was such a frustrating and cumbersome process. When my articles were done and I finally hit publish, I would go back through and find all the mistakes I had made. I’d ruminate on that for months until the next book idea took hold and I vowed that this time it will be perfect.
With this new book, I have had to stop myself from editing because if I give myself more time to edit, it won’t ever get published. My perfectionism is so pervasive that I have to set clear boundaries or it will take me over.
Are you like that? Do you feel like you have a great idea and then avoid doing it because you want everything about the end result perfect? If you nodded your head yes, then you need to know that this procrastination is simply masking your perfectionism. You can’t just hide and wait till all of the settings and stimuli are perfect before starting, because if you wait, you’ll never start.
Most people who know they are procrastinating on starting or completing a task, know that they’re doing it because going deeper than the surface doesn’t seem to work. They haven’t lost their interest in the work, they just stop because they don’t believe they can fully achieve the end product them have in mind. Sometimes this comes down to the fact that they’re afraid of putting a crappy product out there, and other times (most of the time) it’s because they know how much work (!) has to be done to get that “perfect” end product. Essentially, they’ve set the bar so high, they (unconsciously realize they) can’t reach it at all.
The good news is, you can overcome these tendencies so that you can get unstuck and fulfill the goals you’ve set for yourself without worrying about your inner perfectionist getting in the way.
Set reasonable goals. The first step to ignoring your inner perfectionist is to get clear on what your goals are. If you’re trying to launch a new tennis racket onto the market for people with arthritis, you have to come up with realistic milestones and goals. For instance, a first goal might be hiring an occupational therapist to consult on how arthritis affects the hands and help you identify what an arthritic person would need in a tennis racket. Another goal could be getting that racket to market in the next two or three years. But if you give yourself goals like getting the racket to market in the next six months, you’ll be overwhelmed by the idea of working that hard for that long and end up not doing anything. Your procrastination will be masking your perfectionism.
Stop focusing on other people. They say comparison is the worst form of rejection, and they're right. When you have a good business idea, you can’t focus on what other people are doing. Sure, it helps to know your competitors and how your ideal market sees them, but if you fixate on what they’re doing and compare how you’re fairing, you can set off your perfectionism. Instead of getting things done, meeting deadlines, and achieving goals, you’ll end up stalling, waiting for some way to beat the competition.
Question your fears. If you’re afraid to work hard for a long period of time, or are afraid to put your product into the world, ask yourself why? What is it about this work that is so scary? Maybe you had a parent who told you you weren’t good enough. Maybe you had a boss ridicule you and make you feel small. Whatever it is, once you can identify how and why it’s stopping you, you can overcome it and push through.
It’s okay to make mistakes. If nothing is good enough unless it’s perfect, then nothing is worth doing. Right? Wrong. When you’re gifted with the insight of a great idea, nothing should stand in your way from bringing it to fruition - especially not yourself and the idea that it needs to be perfect. The simple fact that you’ve been given the idea is proof that it needs to be created. In the book Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert talks about how if you ignore these sparks of creativity, the muses just bring them to someone else. And if you ignore them long enough, the muse stops offering you anything at all. Thus, if you don’t embrace making mistakes, and nothing is good enough unless it’s perfect, your idea will not be solidified. Your work will never see the light of day and the muses will offer the idea to someone else.
Have self-compassion. We have so much compassion for other people, and yet we are our own harshest critics. Why is that? We need to start fostering self-compassion so that we can overcome our perfectionism. If we’re constantly worried that we’ve done something wrong, we won’t be able to get anything done. When we can accept that mistakes happen and there’s nothing wrong with that, we can finally follow your creativity.
Perfectionism is a tough trait to overcome, but it is possible, especially when we can identify what fuels it. We have to learn how to break the chain, create reasonable goals, focus on ourselves, and question our fears. If we don’t, we won’t ever learn to be free.
Ready to trade in your perfectionism for productivity?
It can be so hard to overcome our perfectionism as it’s usually a product of our upbringing and response to our experiences throughout life.
But it can - and should - be done! Certainly with the help of an experienced coach.
How Perfectionism Keeps You Stuck, And How to Stop Letting it Hold You Back.
Perfectionism can be a double-edged sword. In small doses, it can be an inspiring and motivating force that pushes us to reach for the best. It can help us stay focused, work hard and remain committed to a goal. In most cases, unfortunately, perfectionism becomes a prison that keeps you from fulfilling your potential.
In this article, we'll discuss what perfectionism is, common signs of perfectionism, how it keeps you stuck, and finally, I'll offer some practical tips on how to stop letting it hold you back.
What Is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is a thought pattern where one has an extreme need for everything they do to be perfect. Common signs of perfectionism include black-and-white thinking, all-or-nothing thinking, feeling overwhelmed by the task, procrastination due to fear of failure, and overthinking decisions.
It's important to understand that perfectionism isn't just about achieving high standards; instead, it's more of an emotional response to making mistakes or not meeting expectations. Perfectionists are often highly critical of themselves and others and have an unrealistic view of their abilities.
Perfectionism is not a healthy mindset.
Even though perfectionism is often worn as a badge of honor, most perfectionists don't experience it as a good thing. Instead, it can be a significant source of stress due to endless procrastination and feelings of never being good enough, worthlessness, and discontentment.
If you're a perfectionist, I'm sure you're familiar with the fear of failure or criticism and how they cause you to set impossible standards for yourself. Because you're afraid not to live up to those standards, you quickly become overwhelmed and don't take risks. You may also find yourself procrastinating and never getting started on tasks because you're trying to make everything perfect before even beginning.
When perfectionism gets out of control, rather than encouraging progress and growth, it keeps us stuck in an endless loop of thinking, overthinking, and analyzing every detail until we never reach the finish line. When we focus too much on ensuring everything is perfect—our work, our relationships, or ourselves—we cannot take risks or accept failure as part of the learning process. Instead of feeling motivated and energized by challenges, we feel overwhelmed and paralyzed by them.
Where does perfectionism come from?
Perfectionism can stem from several sources, including upbringing, cultural norms, and insecurities. I believe perfectionism is a defense mechanism or a success strategy we learned in childhood to be safe by gaining approval and acceptance from those around us. Recently, a student in my writing class who's also a teacher shared that the most gifted children in her class are often the ones who suffer the most from perfectionism. They say no to activities they might fail at because they've been conditioned to believe failure is unacceptable.
It's important to understand that perfectionism is not necessarily something you're born with—it's often an acquired behavior or way of thinking. We may have learned it from our parents, teachers, or peers who believed that only the best was good enough. Or, as in my case, it stems from a need for control I internalized very young to survive in an emotionally and physically chaotic home.
How is perfectionism keeping you stuck?
Perfectionism can manifest itself through various behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. It often shows up as procrastination, avoidance, ruminating over decisions or outcomes, and having unrealistic expectations of oneself. Taking a long time to do simple tasks or overthinking every detail so much that progress stalls or stops. You might also find that you're unable to let go of mistakes or failures, striving for an unrealistic level of excellence and never feeling satisfied with your work.
Perfectionism also manifests in negative self-talk—constantly criticizing yourself for not being good enough or beating yourself up for making mistakes. This type of thinking hinders progress by generating feelings of inadequacy and insecurity which keep us stuck in our comfort zone because we're too afraid to take risks and try something new.
In my practice, I see many creatives and entrepreneurs who suffer from perfectionism. Although incredibly gifted and talented, they get stuck because of their perfectionist tendencies. They feel overwhelmed and paralyzed by fear of failure and criticism so much that it prevents them from doing anything about their creative ideas or business dreams. Instead of taking any action, they prefer to do nothing. Like Margie, a talented writer who doesn't start her novel because she's convinced it won't be good enough, or Amir, who is too afraid to show his work and start selling it, so he keeps it to himself.
How to stop letting perfectionism hold you back?
Even though perfectionism can hold us back and prevent us from taking action, it doesn't have to be that way. Understanding what triggers our perfectionism and developing healthier expectations makes it possible to break free from the grip of perfectionism and learn how to take healthy risks. Here are a few tips that can help:
#1 Awareness
The first step towards overcoming perfectionism is becoming aware of it. We need to understand our perfectionist tendencies and the negative patterns that we've internalized to make a change. It was hard to see that I was a perfectionist until I noticed how expecting so much of myself and others affected my work and relationships. That's when I was finally able to make the shift. Once we become aware, we can challenge our perfectionist thinking and behavior. Perfectionism hides in many places: how we speak to ourselves, approach tasks and projects, or even the standards we set for ourselves. Once we become aware of the areas in which perfectionism is holding us back, it's easier to identify and break these patterns.
#2 Accept imperfection
Once you recognize it, challenge your thinking by asking questions like: Why do I need everything to be perfect? What will happen if I make mistakes? How can I use this situation as an opportunity for learning and growth? Accept imperfection. This might sound counterintuitive, but accepting your limitations and shortcomings is the key to freeing yourself from perfectionism. When I finally realized that I couldn't write perfectly on the first try, I stopped procrastinating and instead started writing. Recognizing that you're not perfect allows you to make mistakes without feeling guilty or ashamed.
#3 Aim for progress, not perfection
Aim for progress rather than obsessing over perfectionism. We should focus on making progress, no matter how small, rather than striving for perfection. This shift allowed me to finally start my podcast after thinking about it for more than seven years! Even if it was well-intentioned, perfectionism can make you feel like every single detail needs to be perfect. It's more important to focus on the progress that you're making. It's okay if things aren't perfect immediately; what matters is that you keep moving forward and learning from your mistakes. 1% better every episode; that's what I'm aiming for with my podcast now, instead of waiting for perfection to get started.
#4 Learn to accept your mistakes
The key is learning to let go of needing everything to be perfect for it to have value or worth. Accept that mistakes will happen; this will allow you the freedom and confidence to take risks without fear of failure. One thing I've done to help me to accept my mistakes is to learn to appreciate them. The first big one I enjoyed this way was the monologue I delivered on stage last year. It could have been better, but it was good enough. Instead of looking at the mistakes and getting frustrated, I chose to look at the experience as a learning opportunity and use it to improve my speaking skills and create something better next time.
#5 Practice self-compassion
Finally, practice self-compassion. Replace feelings of inadequacy and shame with acceptance and understanding. Remind yourself that making mistakes is part of life and doesn't make you any less amazing. Treat yourself like your best friend and be gentle with yourself when setting standards. If you can view mistakes as an opportunity for growth, they become much less intimidating. I had to show a lot of self-compassion for myself recently when I changed my marketing focus quite drastically without knowing how it would pan out. So far, I'm pleased with the results and confident I chose the right path.
If it wasn't clear yet, I'm a recovering perfectionist. I've already done a lot of work to break free from the shackles of perfectionism. However, I'm still learning and practicing to be an imperfectionist—to accept that done is better than perfect, that sometimes making a mistake is okay, and that it's the journey, not the destination, that matters most.
It takes time and practice to break the cycle of perfectionism, but it's absolutely possible; I see it in my work and life every day. Be patient and persistent, and you will create a life full of success, satisfaction, and joy!
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