How Perfectionism and Impostor Syndrome Keep You Stuck (and How to Break Free)

The Sh*tty Alliance: How Perfectionism and Impostor Syndrome Create Mountains

The feeling of being stuck is a unique kind of agony, a state of paralysis made worse by a constant, looping internal monologue that actively sabotages you. Even when the plan is clear, this voice can keep you stuck. For the ambitious entrepreneurs and creatives I work with, it’s a familiar battle that determines whether their mind becomes their greatest ally or their biggest enemy.

This internal standstill is often the product of two powerful forces working together: perfectionism and impostor syndrome. Understanding how they operate is the first step toward dismantling their power over you and reclaiming your freedom.

The Nature of Our Internal Roadblocks

When you’re wrestling with doubt, your own mind works against you. It creates imaginary barriers that feel impossibly high - mountains, as I like to call them, turning your own creative potential against you.

It's great that you have so many creative ideas and see so clearly what the picture-perfect version of them COULD be, but that is precisely what is stopping you from taking action. Because now that perfect picture is what your inner critic wants to go for, and it's quick to judge and let you know you'll never get there. Wrong!

Your Inner Critic is a Bully

My clients often describe their inner critic with scary clarity. It’s a "very loud and rude" voice, a "big ol’ bully" that relentlessly tears down every new idea. This critic loves to tell you that you're "not good enough" or that your vision isn't original because it has "already been done." One entrepreneur I worked with even felt a sense of vertigo when she imagined achieving the success she craved, as if her mind was physically restricting her from rising higher. This internal bully thrives on keeping you small and safe from your own ambitions.

It loves it when you create mountains, because it will do everything it can to make you believe you cannot climb them.

The Paralyzing Fear of Failure and Criticism

Many of us are taught to fear failure, believing that any attempt must result in absolute success. This black-and-white thinking is the heart of perfectionism. It isn’t just about having high standards; it’s a defense mechanism against judgment - and I believe, a result of trauma in many cases as well. Perfectionists don't just calculate business risk; they calculate "perfectionist risk," the odds that someone, somewhere, will criticize their work for being flawed. This fear makes every action feel impossibly high-stakes, leading to analysis paralysis and way-too-familiar procrastination.

The Self-Sabotage Cycle

When fear gets involved, the inner critic becomes a master of self-sabotage. It encourages you to "yes-but" every opportunity, killing your momentum just as things start to gain traction. It’s a strange paradox, but many people are more afraid of success than of failure. The unknown territory of achieving your goals and the new expectations that come with it can be more terrifying than staying in a familiar state of struggle. I've experienced this in my own life many times, and I've heard many clients speak of the same: this unconscious fear prevents you from ever finding out what you're truly capable of.

The Nagging Impostor Narrative

Over time, this relentless internal doubt becomes your story. You make a decision, but immediately start questioning it. Eventually, you regret it and believe you should have picked the other option. All in the name of what other people might think of you if you failed, or how your life is ruined now that you made this bad choice that you can never undo.

It’s the voice of impostor syndrome, making you question your own capabilities. One of my favorite creative clients, feeling financially and professionally stuck, confessed to me that he felt he had "failed his younger, ambitious self." Another client once wondered during a session if she was a "lost cause," questioning whether the potential she once saw in herself had simply evaporated. This narrative can become so powerful that it convinces you to abandon your dreams, prioritizing fake stability over the risk of chasing a greater goal.

Understanding these patterns is crucial, but liberation comes from actively challenging them with new ways of thinking and acting.

Strategies to Reclaim Your Power and Take Action

Overcoming perfectionism and impostor syndrome requires a conscious effort to push back on your negative thoughts and create new behaviors. It’s about learning to act despite the voice of doubt, not waiting for it to disappear.

Question the Fear Itself

It’s a well-known acronym for a reason: Fear is often False Evidence Appearing Real. Research suggests that a vast majority, as much as 85% (and, I'd argue perhaps even 90%-95%) of what we worry about never happens! When you feel trapped by anxiety about what could go wrong, you are operating from a script of negative potential. The first disruptive act is to question that script. Ask yourself: What if it works out? Intentionally shifting your focus from worst-case scenarios to positive possibilities is a powerful way to get unstuck.

Shift Your Perspective

The inner critic thrives in the narrow, self-absorbed world of "I." It's all about "me, me, me" for that inner voice. To break free, you must step outside of this egocentric view. One powerful coaching technique I use is to ask clients to re-describe their problem from a third-person perspective. When I asked one founder what advice she would give her best friend or her own child if they were facing the same career obstacle, her entire narrative changed. The excuses she had built for herself were instantly reframed as surmountable challenges, rather than mountains.

Act Before You Have the Courage

Perfectionism causes creative and entrepreneurial projects to never take flight. Or, when you do find the energy to start, that same perfectionism will stall your progress with negative thinking. The antidote is not more thinking; it's action.

Courage is not a prerequisite for taking a step forward; it is the result of taking that step.

As I remind clients often and write about in my book, you simply cannot think your way into a new life or a new business. You must choose to go out and do it, even when - especially when - you feel afraid.

Redefine Readiness as a Decision

Waiting to feel completely confident is a trap. It keeps you perpetually waiting for tomorrow, just like Godot.

Here's a truth that has transformed my clients' careers: Being ready is a decision, not a feeling. That sense of capability you’re searching for almost always shows up after you’ve taken the leap and realized the task wasn't as difficult as you imagined. To short-circuit the overthinking cycle, use a practical tool like the 5-Second Rule by Mel Robbins: if you have an instinct to act, you must physically move within five seconds, or your brain will kill the idea.

Micro-dose Fear with Experiments

For those paralyzed by the fear of rejection or failure, taking small, manageable risks is essential. I call this "micro-dosing fear." By incorporating small real-life experiments into your routine (something I enjoy doing with my coaching clients), you can reprogram your nervous system. Each small step, like sending that one email, making that one call, proves that you can experience fear and excitement without anything terrible happening. This practice gradually expands your comfort zone until it’s large enough to hold your biggest goals.

The journey out of the stuckness of perfectionism and self-doubt is a process of remembering your own power. It's about choosing to move forward based on what is true right now, rather than waiting for a guarantee of certainty that will never come.

Now go out and do the thing. I believe in you!

Are you ready to break free from perfectionism and impostor syndrome once and for all?

Imagine what’s possible when your inner roadblocks are cleared away and when self-doubt turns into creative power so that you can move forward with clarity and confidence.

If you’re longing to feel true momentum but don’t know where to start, let’s make it real together. Book a free coaching session with me and discover how personalized coaching can help you reclaim your power, define your next steps, and finally create the career or business you’ve been dreaming about.

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Frequently Asked Questions

• What is perfectionism and how does it affect career growth?

  Perfectionism is the belief that everything must be flawless to succeed. While striving for excellence can be motivating, perfectionism often leads to self-doubt and procrastination, hindering career growth by creating unnecessary pressures and delays.

• How can impostor syndrome hold you back professionally?

  Impostor syndrome makes individuals feel like they don't deserve their success, despite their qualifications. This mindset often leads to underperformance, missed opportunities, and reluctance to seek promotions or take on new challenges.

• What are the first steps to overcoming self-doubt?

  Start by identifying the root causes of your self-doubt, such as perfectionism, impostor syndrome, or a fear of failure. Then, set realistic and actionable daily goals and celebrate small victories to build confidence over time.

• How can personalized coaching benefit my career or business?

  Personalized coaching provides tailored strategies to target your unique challenges, providing clarity, accountability, and actionable steps. This support empowers you to confidently achieve your career or business goals while overcoming self-imposed limitations.

• Why is defining next steps important for professional success?

  Without clear next steps, it's easy to feel stuck or overwhelmed. By defining actionable steps, you can break large goals into manageable tasks, creating momentum and sustaining long-term progress in your career or business.

• How can small, doable actions lead to big results?

  Consistently taking small steps enables incremental progress, reducing the risk of burnout. Over time, these actions compound to yield significant achievements, proving that progress doesn't require perfection - just persistence.

• What is the benefit of addressing self-doubt now?

  Addressing self-doubt quickly allows you to reach your full potential, seize more opportunities, and build confidence. Tackling these challenges today creates a stronger foundation for future professional or business success.

Are you secretly an entrepreneur, and how can you develop those skills to succeed?

In my work, I meet with clients daily who are afraid that their lives aren’t turning out the way they thought they would. Their current world is so different from the goals and dreams they had as a child. We discuss their fears and try to figure out what they would have done if resources and money hadn’t been a factor. Often, they end up discussing a product or idea they would have created. 

I love these moments. This is when I get to point out that they are an entrepreneur. They may have gone to school for engineering or medicine, but if they’ve always dreamed of producing a particular type of silicone scar cream that works on stretch marks, they’re an entrepreneur. The same is true for the mother who loved planners but didn’t like how limiting they were for parents with multiple children. If she believes she could create something better, she’s an entrepreneur. 

Are you picking up what I’m putting down?

If you have an idea or a product you think would help someone, if you see challenges everywhere and come up with solutions in your mind, you’re an entrepreneur. 

So, how does this help you? Why would knowing you’re an entrepreneur help you start a business? 

Being an entrepreneur is not a job description; it’s a personality trait. Knowing your personality can help you figure out how to achieve your goals. Take the doctor who wants to create the scar cream above. If they think they’re just a doctor, they won’t try making the cream. They’ll offer the idea to someone else in that industry. But, if they believe they’re an entrepreneur, they will take the time to figure out how to get the cream developed, researched, tested, and into public hands. 

Now that you know you’re an entrepreneur, how can you develop those skills to succeed? 

1. Understand your competition. Entrepreneurs are good at tunnel vision. We know the product or service we want to offer and hone in on that. Sometimes, though, we forget people who might have similar ideas. An essential skill as an entrepreneur is to figure out who your competition might be and why they might be able to produce the product or service quicker or more efficiently than you. Then, develop a plan to stand out and move forward. If you’re creating a planner with families in mind, you’ll want to know what other family planners are on the market, what makes them family-friendly, and what you think they’re missing. Investigate their marketing strategies, where they post online, and how they talk to their customers. Figure out your own voice and marketing plan to make yourself stand out.

2. Make sure there is a need. If there is no need for your product or service, there is no market for it. When you have an idea, you want to ensure that it’s something people want or need. The second best entrepreneurial skill is being a solution to someone’s problem. You saw a challenge and think you have an answer to it. But is that true? For instance, if you want to create a course on underwater basket weaving, you better know if anyone wants to learn how. Alternatively, if you know there is a need to teach small businesses the benefits of email marketing, you’ll know who to market to after you create your e-course on the topic.

3. Network like your life depends on it. Networking is one of my favorite things to do and one of the things I’m incredibly passionate about. I think one of the reasons I’ve been successful is how much I enjoy networking and connecting with people. When starting as an entrepreneur, even before you have a solid idea or product, networking can help fuel your fire like nothing else can. When you network, you create valuable connections with people who might be interested in investing in your business later on. It also enables you to expand your knowledge and learn from other professionals or even meet a mentor or two who will have a lasting impact on your work.

Learning that you’re an entrepreneur is the first step to going after the life and work you want to pursue. Discovering how entrepreneurial traits can improve your success is the foundation of your success.

Got an Idea for a Product or Service?

When you have an idea for a product or service but aren’t sure how to get started, it can be super overwhelming.

That’s where I come in! I help my clients turn those ideas into tangible things that make a difference in their lives and the world. Burning to get started?

Schedule your free session!