Your Fear of Failure Isn't About Failure. It's About Being Seen.

For most of my life, I was terrified of what other people would think of me.

Not in a small, background-hum kind of way. In a stops-you-cold, shrinks-your-world, makes-you-invisible-by-choice kind of way. I wanted to be perfect. I wanted the gold star, the shoulder tap, the silent approval of everyone in the room. And because of that, failing wasn't just disappointing; it felt like my world was ending and my life was over.

It took years of deep personal work, coaching, and eventually a very deliberate "f*ck it" decision to start living differently. That decision changed everything. But even now, after more than a decade of that kind of growth, the fear doesn't disappear. It just moves. And lately, I've noticed it moving into new territory: not the fear of things going wrong, but the fear of being seen while I try (even if I end up succeeding!).

That's what I want to talk about today. Because I think most people who tell themselves they're afraid of failing are actually afraid of something else entirely.

What Is the Fear of Failure? (And What It's Actually Called)

The fear of failure has a clinical name: atychiphobia. It comes from the Greek word "atyches," meaning unfortunate, and it describes an intense, sometimes irrational fear of not succeeding.

According to fear-of-failure statistics, this affects nearly 49% of Americans — and it's especially common among creatives, perfectionists (hello, friend, I see you!), and people — just like me — who built their sense of self around doing things well. I was a textbook case. Failing wasn't something I could accept because my identity was tied to getting it right. Perfectionism and fear of failure are close cousins: one demands flawless output, the other punishes you for any result that isn't exactly right.

But here's what I've come to understand: atychiphobia, as it's typically described, is about the outcome. What I'm pointing to is something more specific and more insidious. It's not the failure itself. It's being watched, trying.

The Real Fear: Being Seen

Think about the last time you held something back. A project, an idea, a piece of writing, a business you've been building in private.

Was it really that you were afraid of things going wrong?

Or was it that you could picture, with uncomfortable clarity, people watching it go wrong? Or just people knowing about it?

I've noticed, in my own experience and in the work I do with clients, that the fear arrives at very specific moments. Not in private. In public.

• You don't freeze when you're alone, working on the idea, without an ounce of care for the outside world. You freeze when you have to share it (or even think about it!).

• You don't struggle with writing the pitch when nobody's watching. You struggle when you start thinking about who might read it or when it's time to send it.

• You don't panic at the thought of trying. You panic at the thought of people watching you try.

That is not fear of failure. That is the fear of visibility.

And it covers more territory than we usually admit. Because it's not just about failing in public — it's about succeeding in public too.

The Fear Nobody Talks About: Being Seen Succeeding

We talk a lot about fear of failure. We talk almost nothing about fear of success - and yet it's just as real, and just as paralyzing for many people.

Fear of success sounds contradictory. Why would anyone be afraid of things going well?

But think about what success actually brings: more visibility, more scrutiny, more expectations, more people watching. The "who does she think she is" energy. The pressure to maintain it. The loneliness that can come with moving faster than the people around you.

For many people, especially those who grew up being "too much," success feels just as threatening as failure. Both put you in the spotlight. And the spotlight is where the fear lives.

For women especially, the social cost of standing out has been documented extensively — success in many contexts still carries a penalty that failure doesn't. So the fear isn't irrational. It's learned.

Why This Distinction Matters

If you misidentify the fear, you apply the wrong solution.

If you were afraid of failing, evidence would help. Statistics would be reassuring. A track record of success would calm you down. Does it, really?

Because if you're afraid of being seen (regardless of outcome), then data doesn't touch it. The fear isn't logical. It's social, and it's old.

It's rooted in something ancient: the human need to belong. Research on the spotlight effect shows that we consistently overestimate how much other people are watching us — our nervous system treats "people might judge my work" as equivalent to "the tribe might exile me." Which is why rational reassurance rarely works.

What Fear of Visibility Looks Like in Practice

This fear disguises itself well. It rarely announces itself as "I'm afraid of being seen." It shows up as:

• Overworking the thing until it's "perfect." Endless refinement that's really about minimizing your exposure to judgment.

• Waiting for the right moment, which turns out to be the moment when the risk of visibility feels smaller.

• Building beautifully in private, and staying very quiet about it.

• Comparing your behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel, and using that comparison to justify not showing up yet.

• Launching, then pulling back. Posting, then checking obsessively. Sharing, then wishing you hadn't.

None of these looks like fear. They look like perfectionism, overthinking, and procrastination. But they share a root.

And when I notice them in myself now, I try to ask: am I protecting the work, or am I protecting myself from being seen?

How to Actually Move Through It

I'm not going to tell you to just be brave. If that worked, you'd have done it already.

Here's what has actually helped me, and what I guide clients through:

1. Name the right fear. When you notice yourself freezing up, ask honestly: Am I afraid of the outcome, or of the audience? Get specific. The right diagnosis matters.

2. Separate your worth from the result. The single most powerful shift I've made — and I didn't do it alone, I needed career and business coaching to get there- was learning to anchor my sense of self somewhere other than my output. Not "I need this to succeed," but "who am I regardless of whether this succeeds?" When that anchor holds, failure loses most of its power. And so does the fear of being seen trying.

3. Reframe it as growth, not failure. This isn't a platitude (I know, I know), it's a practice. When something doesn't work the way I hoped, I no longer ask "why did I fail?" I ask, "What did this show me?" That shift changes not just how I feel about outcomes, but how much I'm willing to risk being seen in pursuit of them.

4. Start where the fear feels smaller. You don't have to go public with the biggest version of the thing. Share with five people you trust. Test in a lower-stakes space. Build your tolerance for visibility gradually. And while you're at it, it helps to stop feeling guilty for choosing yourself in the process - that's part of the work too.

The goal isn't the absence of fear. It's becoming someone who can be seen - imperfectly, publicly, honestly - and knows that their worth doesn't depend on how it lands.

If the inner work of separating your worth from your output is something you want to do more intentionally, the Core Values Worksheet I've put together is a good starting point. It's free, it takes about 20 minutes, and it builds the foundation.

→ Download the Core Values Worksheet | Book a free coaching session

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Common Questions About Fear of Failure

What is the fear of failure called?

The fear of failure is clinically called atychiphobia, from the Greek for "unfortunate." It describes a persistent, often intense fear of not succeeding, and it's especially common among high achievers, perfectionists, and creatives.

What's the difference between fear of failure and fear of being seen?

Fear of failure is about the outcome - things not working out. Fear of being seen is about the audience - people watching you in the process. They feel similar but respond to very different things. Most people are dealing with the second one, not the first.

Is there such a thing as fear of success?

Yes, and it's more common than people admit. Fear of success is rooted in the same place as fear of failure: the spotlight. More success means more visibility, scrutiny, and expectations. For people who grew up learning that standing out had social costs, success can feel just as threatening as failure.

How do I overcome fear of failure?

Start by identifying whether the fear is about the outcome or the audience. If it's about visibility, the most effective path is gradually building your tolerance for being seen - starting small with trusted people - while anchoring your sense of self somewhere stable, not in your results.

Why does fear of failure affect perfectionists more?

Perfectionists tie their identity closely to their output. When failure happens, and it always does, it doesn't just feel like a bad result. It feels like evidence of something fundamentally wrong with them. The work is in separating those two things

Your #1 Mindset Hack for a Badass Life: Every Negative Thought is Wrong

Overthinking, worry, and anxious thoughts plagued my every day - my every minute and even my every second on some days. I couldn't escape them, no matter how hard I tried. The noise in my head, paired with the discomfort in my body from the perpetual stress, made it difficult to focus on anything else. It was like a constant battle that, for years, I couldn't win.

Those anxious days are long gone, thank goodness, but it was a journey to get to where I am now. And it's a journey that I continue on every day because let's be honest - anxiety isn't something that entirely disappears forever. Yes, you can make it smaller and smaller, but it is a daily practice and reprieve. Anxiety and worry are things that we learn to manage and cope with.

I used to think my constant worrying was just a part of who I was - it was just my personality, and I could do nothing about it. But I learned that wasn't true through therapy, self-reflection, cultivating many calming and grounding rituals, and a lot of trial-and-error. Anxiety is not our identity - it's simply an aspect of thinking and the nervous system that has gone into overdrive. And just like any other part of ourselves that isn't serving us, we can work on changing it.

The problem with anxiety and worry is that it keeps us stuck in a state of fear and doubt. We become so consumed with what could go wrong and what might happen that we forget to live in the present moment. In my practice, I support many people who suffer from anxiety, worry, and overthinking.

Often, the way it manifests in their life is as follows:

• Difficulty concentrating on tasks and making decisions 

• Procrastination due to fear of failure 

• Loss of performance and productivity 

• Strained relationships at work and with loved ones 

• Increased physical discomfort like headaches or fatigue 

• Disrupted sleep patterns 

• Constant self-doubt and negative self-talk

It's a never-ending cycle that can leave us feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and hopeless. But the good news is we have the power to break this cycle and take control of our thoughts and emotions. It starts with acknowledging that we have anxiety and understanding how it affects us. From there, we can begin implementing healthy coping strategies and seeking professional help if needed.

So, where do you start in this process of rewiring your brain so you can be freed from this crippling anxiety? How do you begin to quiet the noise and calm the storm inside your head? You can do many things, from therapy and medication to self-care practices like mindfulness, exercise, and journaling. It's about finding what works for you and creating a personalized plan to help you manage your anxiety.

One thing that has helped me tremendously in managing my anxiety is changing my mindset, aka the way I think about things.

Instead of constantly worrying and catastrophizing, I learned to challenge my thoughts, question their validity, and focus on the present moment. This shift in thinking has allowed me to let go of unnecessary stress and find peace within myself.

Life constantly changes and evolves, and people's reactions are beyond our control. Every day, something new, potentially stressful, and uncertain could happen. Instead of continually worrying about what might go wrong or trying to control everything, I have learned to focus on what I can control - my thoughts and my reactions.

I have done so much work learning to control my thinking this year, and this mindset thing is like magic! There are no two ways about it:

Our thoughts - our mindset - shape our reality; they are the lens through which we interpret the world.

Someone I consider very wise once told me, "We are what we focus on." This means that if our thoughts are consumed with worry and anxiety, then that is what we will manifest in our lives. But, if we focus on positivity, gratitude, and peace of mind, that is what we will attract.

So why not choose the latter? We can rewire our brains by changing our thought patterns and creating a more positive mindset. It's a challenging task but possible with practice and perseverance.

I used to believe that my anxiety was something I would always have to live with - it was just part of who I am. But now I know that I can manage it and even overcome it. It takes work every day, but the rewards are endless.

Since then, those words have become my truth. When we focus on positivity and possibility, we open ourselves to a world of opportunities and growth. When we pay attention to negative and limiting thoughts, we trap ourselves in a cycle of self-doubt and fear, often creating unnecessary anxiety and stress.

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought," said the Buddha.

With that in mind, I've been training myself to focus on thoughts that empower me rather than those that keep me small and stressed out. And let me tell you, it's like magic! It can be confusing to believe one negative thought but not another, as if some are true and we should listen to them! That's why I've created a simple rule for myself and my clients: 

Every negative thought is wrong!

As soon as one pops into my mind (as they will, thousands of times a day if you let them!), I choose to divert my focus to a positive thought instead. It takes practice (and a handy list of positive things to focus on helps), but the easier I do it, the easier it becomes.

Before I knew it, my mindset had shifted from one of limitation to one with ONLY possibility.  I have also seen amazing results in the creatives and entrepreneurs I support.

I'm constantly amazed at how much this simple shift in thinking has affected every aspect of my life - from relationships to my sense of well-being and happiness, overwork to personal growth. It's not about ignoring reality or pretending everything is perfect; it's about choosing to see things in a way that serves us and empowers us to live in the reality we dream about.

So, next time you feel overwhelmed or stuck, remember that you have control over how you think and perceive the world around you. Choose thoughts that empower you and open yourself up to the endless possibilities that await.

Are you ready to rewire your brain and let go of anxiety for good?

Transforming your mindset is a powerful way to create the life you want. None of your thoughts are fixed or part of who you are - they are just thoughts, and as such they can be changed.

I help my clients transform their mindsetso they can become the badass humans and professionals they know they are meant to be. Discover the power of coaching with me. Click below and let's chat!

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Are you secretly an entrepreneur, and how can you develop those skills to succeed?

In my work, I meet with clients daily who are afraid that their lives aren’t turning out the way they thought they would. Their current world is so different from the goals and dreams they had as a child. We discuss their fears and try to figure out what they would have done if resources and money hadn’t been a factor. Often, they end up discussing a product or idea they would have created. 

I love these moments. This is when I get to point out that they are an entrepreneur. They may have gone to school for engineering or medicine, but if they’ve always dreamed of producing a particular type of silicone scar cream that works on stretch marks, they’re an entrepreneur. The same is true for the mother who loved planners but didn’t like how limiting they were for parents with multiple children. If she believes she could create something better, she’s an entrepreneur. 

Are you picking up what I’m putting down?

If you have an idea or a product you think would help someone, if you see challenges everywhere and come up with solutions in your mind, you’re an entrepreneur. 

So, how does this help you? Why would knowing you’re an entrepreneur help you start a business? 

Being an entrepreneur is not a job description; it’s a personality trait. Knowing your personality can help you figure out how to achieve your goals. Take the doctor who wants to create the scar cream above. If they think they’re just a doctor, they won’t try making the cream. They’ll offer the idea to someone else in that industry. But, if they believe they’re an entrepreneur, they will take the time to figure out how to get the cream developed, researched, tested, and into public hands. 

Now that you know you’re an entrepreneur, how can you develop those skills to succeed? 

1. Understand your competition. Entrepreneurs are good at tunnel vision. We know the product or service we want to offer and hone in on that. Sometimes, though, we forget people who might have similar ideas. An essential skill as an entrepreneur is to figure out who your competition might be and why they might be able to produce the product or service quicker or more efficiently than you. Then, develop a plan to stand out and move forward. If you’re creating a planner with families in mind, you’ll want to know what other family planners are on the market, what makes them family-friendly, and what you think they’re missing. Investigate their marketing strategies, where they post online, and how they talk to their customers. Figure out your own voice and marketing plan to make yourself stand out.

2. Make sure there is a need. If there is no need for your product or service, there is no market for it. When you have an idea, you want to ensure that it’s something people want or need. The second best entrepreneurial skill is being a solution to someone’s problem. You saw a challenge and think you have an answer to it. But is that true? For instance, if you want to create a course on underwater basket weaving, you better know if anyone wants to learn how. Alternatively, if you know there is a need to teach small businesses the benefits of email marketing, you’ll know who to market to after you create your e-course on the topic.

3. Network like your life depends on it. Networking is one of my favorite things to do and one of the things I’m incredibly passionate about. I think one of the reasons I’ve been successful is how much I enjoy networking and connecting with people. When starting as an entrepreneur, even before you have a solid idea or product, networking can help fuel your fire like nothing else can. When you network, you create valuable connections with people who might be interested in investing in your business later on. It also enables you to expand your knowledge and learn from other professionals or even meet a mentor or two who will have a lasting impact on your work.

Learning that you’re an entrepreneur is the first step to going after the life and work you want to pursue. Discovering how entrepreneurial traits can improve your success is the foundation of your success.

Got an Idea for a Product or Service?

When you have an idea for a product or service but aren’t sure how to get started, it can be super overwhelming.

That’s where I come in! I help my clients turn those ideas into tangible things that make a difference in their lives and the world. Burning to get started?

Schedule your free session!

How to stop getting stuck in the Zone of Ideation

Have you ever started to think about something - an event, a business, a job, a partner - and then gotten stuck in this loop where your mind just wanders into every possibility - good and bad, but you never seem to get out of that loop?

If you nodded yes, great. You’re in good company!

When creativity hits, I start doing something with it to prevent myself from getting stuck in that loop of questioning and thinking. Sometimes, though, it’s inevitable, and my mind starts to wander. I begin tothink of all the ways I could do this thing I was just inspired to do, and before I know it, I’ve talked myself into - and out of - a hundred different scenarios for how to bring it to life or if I even should. 

For instance, when I was thinking about doing a book launch in NYC, I walked through all the reasons this was a good idea, all the reasons it was a bad idea, and all the ways I could find the time to organise such an event while also continuing to coach, write, and speak. There were a few days where I was fully present in my mind, going through every scenario of how launching “Get Unstuck!” in NYC could play out. I got so lost thinking about it that I almost didn’t do the work I needed to do to make it happen. 

I was in a loop, and it was getting harder and harder.

I like to call this loop the “Zone of Ideation” (ZOI).

Usually, you hit the ZOI right before you fully enter the tar pit of stuckness. You’ll be traveling along, an idea will hit, and before you can do anything about it, you’ve already started your loop of question, answer, question, distraction, answer, distraction, question, etc. Before you know it, that loop has pulled you into the tar. You’re sinking below its depths as it burbles alongside you. 

You’re stuck.

Our goal is to either avoid the ZOI altogether or pull yourself out of it before you hit the pit. 

So, how do you go about doing that? 

1. Identify your automatic response. Your automatic response is precisely what it sounds like - the response your brain and body make when it experiences a particular stimulus. A good example of an automatic response is breathing. Breathing is so intuitive you don’t even realize you’re doing it - until you’re gasping for it. Another example of an automatic response is how your body feels when you’re called on to share during a work call or your go-to response when someone says how are you. When creativity or an idea hits, what’s your automatic response? Do you burrow and hide? Do you ruminate? Do you start doing? What are the first signs? Make yourself aware of them so we can start to change them. 

2. Change your mindset. I know it sounds simpler said than done, but sometimes, it really is as simple as doing it. When it comes to our mindsets, we’re either fixed or flexible (commonly called a growth mindset). People with fixed mindsets have difficulty changing how they see things. People with flexible mindsets have an easier time changing their views and going with the flow. The best part is that fixed mindsets can become flexible with just a little work. Once you’ve identified your automatic response and which mindset you lean towards, you can start adapting your mindset to fit the desired outcome. 

3. Decide on a goal and stick to it. When you have difficulty retreating from the ZOI, it’s probably because you’ve created several goals and want to achieve all of them at once. Instead, focus on one goal you know you can achieve soon and then go after it. Once you’ve accomplished that goal, you can identify the next - and the next - and the next. Before you know it, you’ll have achieved precisely what you wanted. I like to look at these goals as a bucket list instead. Things that I want to achieve just for me, no one else. The word “goal” makes it sound like it’s for someone else’s benefit or some external reward. Bucket list items are solely for me and I can pursue them slowly and with meaning. 

When you enter the ZOI, it can be tough to pull yourself out before getting truly stuck. However, the more you practice the steps above, the easier it will be. Then, one day, avoiding the ZOI or getting unstuck more quickly will become second nature to you. 

P.S. Don’t forget Get Unstuck! is now on the shelves on Amazon! If you’re interested in how to get unstuck when you’re sinking in the tar pit of stuckness, this book is the only roadmap you’ll need! Click here to find the Amazon site nearest to you.

Dangerously close to the Zone of Ideation?

My clients know that mindset work is one of my favorite things to do with them. It is so incredible to see them think one way and then shift not only their mindset but also their actions within a short time.

If you feel like the ZOI is pulling you in, forcing you to focus on all the things that could be from this one idea, it’s time to learn some new tools!

Schedule your free session!

Experiencing technical difficulties: Sometimes things don’t go your way, and that’s okay…

My newest book, Get Unstuck! came out today!

And if you just did a double take at that or thought I wrote the wrong date, you are half right…

Originally, Get Unstuck! was set to launch on October 25th - however - God, the Universe, whatever you want to call it, had other plans for me. What should have been a simple change of date turned into a major issue that required technical assistance and a whole lot of faith. 

Several things added to this debacle, including formatting issues, communication disruptions, and serious technical glitches that could have derailed the entire launch. And I truly believe that my behavior during those 12 hours is the reason that things worked out so well.

Think about it - the last time something threw you for a loop and ruined your day, did any of the next five tasks go well? Or did your day suddenly rush off course, crash, and burn? 

I’m guessing it was the latter. 

That’s because our mindset impacts our attitude, which impacts our environment, which, in turn, impacts our mindset. If you have a fixed mindset - one that doesn’t do well with change or challenges - you might find that your day is completely trashed because of one issue early on. You can’t shake out of the negative headspace that “everything will go wrong.” 

But, if you have a growth mindset, you can see the issue for what it is and stop yourself from carrying it in the next moment of the day. You go into problem-solving mode and work to fix things without reacting.  

The truth is, ten years ago, I definitely would have freaked out. My entire week would have been ruined and I would have fallen victim to all the worst-case scenarios. This time, though, I saw the situation for what it was - a chance to practice what I preach and not have it impact my whole day. The issue was fixed and while it was a bummer that my initial pre-orders were canceled because of an Amazon glitch, I know there’s a reason for it. 

My attitude is positively impacting my environment, which is positively impacting my mindset, which is reinforcing my positive attitude. 

So how can you cultivate a growth mindset and steer clear of attitude derailments? Follow the steps below to get a peak into what I do every day to prevent my mind from wandering into negativity territory.

1. Accept the situation. I think a lot of the issues we get with our mindset come from refusing to acknowledge that what is happening is happening. Whatever the situation, you have to accept that it is happening so you can prevent it from following you into every other situation that day. For example, if you spill coffee on class notes and start chiding yourself for being a terrible coffee sipper, that mindset will follow you into the next task. You might find that you are dropping more things, cajoling yourself, and breaking things unnecessarily. However, if you spill the coffee and start cleaning it up without making yourself feel bad, your subconscious will recognize that mistakes happen and it doesn’t have to affect the rest of your day.

2. Think about how your favorite person would react. If you admire someone like Ghandi or Amelia Earheart, think about how they would react in a moment of strife. Would they crumble and let the bad mood follow them? Or would they problem solve their way out of it and protect their peace? I’m gonna go with the second option.

3. Set realistic goals. This might not sound like something you can do after an issue pops up, but the reality is that setting realistic goals is something you can do all along the way, whatever is happening in the moment. If you’re working on something and you realize the timeline you’ve given yourself is too fast paced, it’s okay to slow down and switch it up.

4. Try something new. If you’ve noticed that your reaction negatively impacts every other area of your life, it’s time to try something new. Part of having a growth mindset is trying new things and finding what works for you in a particular situation - and knowing that it can evolve over time.

5. Check in with yourself. Probably the most important thing to do when trying to cultivate a growth mindset is to check in with yourself. How are you feeling about what just happened? What emotions are coming up? Who do you hear in your head that is hurting your heart? How do you think you’d feel if you responded in a different way? 

The only thing we are responsible for - and in control of - are our own reactions. If we are constantly getting overwhelmed with things and outcomes we can’t control, we won’t get anything done and we will constantly be living in fear. 

I don’t know about you, but I refuse to live in that headspace any longer. 

P.S. you can order Get Unstuck! today on Kindle, paperback, or hardcover!

Ready to ditch the fixed mindset?

Our mindset determines so much about our day to day reactions, but also our longterm mental health. Those of us with growth mindsets react more healthily to problems. Whereas people with fixed mindsets can let their frustrations overtake them, getting them stuck without the will to MOVE.

If you want to learn how to change your mindset, get unstuck, and start MOVE-in’, I can help!

Schedule your free session!

Creative Generalists Don’t Fit In and That’s Okay! (P.S. you can stop applying for specialist jobs now)

When we were cave people, each one of us was good at multiple things. You had to be. We lived in a community where everyone worked together. Sure, there were some people who were better at hunting than others, and some that were better at taking care of the children or gathering roots and berries for supper. But everyone needed to have all of the skills so that if one person died, the rest of the community could still survive. Imagine if one person in your community was the only one with the skills to start a fire and then they were gone? The rest of the community would not survive the winter.

Somewhere along the way, between the agricultural and the industrial revolution, society decided that having a specialty was more important than having multiple skills. We started going to college to specialize in one type of career, and if you were unable to make up your mind on what you were going to major in, you felt like an outsider. The day I realized I could have as many jobs in as many fields as I wanted, was the day I learned real freedom. 

Unfortunately, it can be a tough lesson to learn and an even tougher path to take because we are conditioned from birth to think we have to pick one job, one career, one skill for the rest of our lives. If we try to transition out of that role to something different, we are often looked down on. 

With clients, I often share the story of The Ugly Duckling because it’s so similar to what creative generalist experience. In the story, the Mama Duck is waiting for her six ducklings to hatch. One day, five of the eggs hatch, but the biggest egg takes its time and hatches the next day. When it finally breaks out, the duckling is “odd-looking.” Not only is he much bigger than his siblings, he’s dark gray instead of yellow and walks with a funny wobble. Immediately, his siblings see - and point out - that there is something wrong with their brother. Mama Duck gets upset and takes them all swimming. The other ducklings call the Ugly Duckling ugly the whole way to the pond. The Ugly Duckling could swim like his siblings, but when he tried to play with them, they wouldn’t and instead made fun of him for being different. 

One day, the other ducklings told him to leave, and he did. On his journey away from his family, he tried to fit in with a number of other animals, including two adult ducks. But he didn’t fit in anywhere until he found a new lake and a flock of large white birds flying overhead. They were beautiful, with long white bodies and slim necks. He watched them glide through the air and fly away. The Ugly Duckling was all alone and spent the winter by himself before being rescued by a farmer. 

During the spring, the farmer brought him back to the lake where he met the beautiful white birds again who invited him to be friends and to fly with them. When he saw his reflection in the lake, he realized he looked just like them. He was no longer the Ugly Duckling but a beautiful swan.

If you’ve felt like the Ugly Duckling know this: there’s nothing wrong with you, you’ve just been misdiagnosed. You’re ont a duck, you're a swan! Creative generalists don’t need to fit into specialist jobs. We need to embrace being different; embrace being rebels and having an inner activist that hates injustice, authority and has a strong sense of right and wrong. It’s ok to go after all of the jobs, roles, and careers you want to pursue. It’s ok to break away from the people, places, and things that make you feel like you’re not good enough and have to conform. If the Ugly Duckling had stayed with his duckling siblings, he would have felt bad about himself his entire life. He would only have focused on how he was different from the rest, instead of realizing how awesome he was! By leaving the nest, he was able to find out he was a swan and that he did belong. He was able to embrace his differences and be himself. 

We need to be more like the Ugly Duckling and embrace our differences so we can really excel in our lives. It’s okay to be outside the norm, to be unconventional - it’s actually a superpower! So stop trying to squeeze yourself into a tiny box, stop applying for specialist jobs and start pursuing a life and career that works for you.  

So what are you going to do going forward? 

1. Embrace being different. 

2. Acknowledge your creative generalist gifts.

3. And use those gifts to find roles that allow you to spread your wings and fly (allow for a variety of your skills and talents to be utilized), rather than restrict you to specializing in one field. 

That’s it! It’s simple once we step outside of the idea that we have to do exactly what society says and stop believing that niching down, choosing (don’t you hate that word?), and limiting ourselves is the only way to excel in life.

Are you ready to fly?

It can be overwhelming when you think about leaving the comfort of your specialist role, even when you dream about having something else to do that allows you to flex your creative generalist abilities instead of boring your brains out every day.

This is where I come in! Together we can figure out your creative generalist skills and sweet spot, the fields you’re interested in working in, and how to use those skills to land your dream job!

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Shift Shock and How to Avoid It

Have you ever had this experience: you work so hard to get a new job, maybe even shift careers, and then the minute you’re in your new role, you regret it so completely that you want to run away? Or throw up right where you are… Whatever you feel, it’s so intense that you are left in this catatonic state.

Well, that’s “shift shock.”

According to this article by The Muse, 72% of workers have experienced shift shock. Part of the issue is that we have built up this idea that the grass is greener on the other side of this role or career, and then we feel either a wee bit let down once we get there, or overwhelmed by the unfamiliarity of it. 

There is a lot to be said about the comfort of our old roles. While we may have not enjoyed them so much and there was a reason we wanted to switch careers, we were comfortable in them - both the everyday tasks and the complaining about how we wanted more or something different. Then suddenly you have the role you wanted and everything is new. We don’t know what tasks to get done first, how to navigate the new social scenarios, and what kind of clothes to wear to work every day (especially true if you work from home). 

The darker side of shift shock is when you start a new job and realize your employers have lied about, or didn’t explain, the expectations they have for your role, which leads you to accept the position under the wrong precepts. This is even harder when you are switching to a remote role where conveying expectations is entirely dependent on an interviewer who is not used to the virtual reality you’re entering into. Company culture is also difficult to discern prior to starting when the role is completely online, making shift shock even more apparent and uncomfortable.  

So now that we know what shift shock is - and how common it is - the question becomes, how the heck do we avoid it?

1. State your expectations. When you go for your interview, or start your first day, it is important that you are very clear about your expectations of this role. That means you lay out the exact responsibilities you believe you will have, what your working hours will be like, and describe your work-from-home policy (yes, that’s right, you’re allowed to define how you want to work!) to the interviewer/onboarder so that they can clarify if it fits with theirs. If everyone is starting on the same page, there will be less shift shock.

2. Ask about employee retention. A lot of what creates a great company culture is how the company tries to retain its employees. What do they do that helps their employees? How do they build trust with their employees? Ask those questions and make sure you like the answers. If you don’t, it’s probably going to be harder to adjust to the role. 

3. Meet other employees on LinkedIn. Whether you’re in the interview process or it's your first week, getting information from fellow employees is incredibly important. Networking and reaching out to them on LinkedIn is one way to learn about the company culture and what the company expects of them. If you find out that you are salaried for a 40-hour week, but they expect you to work before and after work, and on the weekends, without overtime, and that doesn’t align with what you want out of the role (or with how life should be), you can jump ship right there.

Don’t be afraid to leave. If you find out that the company misled you about their expectations, it’s okay to leave. While you might have left your prior job, you can still create an exit strategy for this one. I know we are all used to the notion that we must keep a job for at least a year to make our resumes look better, but the reality is, having good mental health is more important. 

Moreover, if you think the shift shock is simply a byproduct of your own expectations not being met, but you know in your gut it will get better as soon as you're comfortable, then just work on getting comfortable. The steps above will still be beneficial - especially if you are trying to meet your co-workers and get to know them. 

Remember, it’s totally normal to feel shift shock. You’ve just campaigned your way out of something you’re familiar with for something new. It’s like being a kindergartner on their first day. You’ve heard so much about this cool place called school and all the things you will experience. You’re excited and ready to start, but then on the first day, you cry at the classroom door because it’s all so overwhelming. Within two weeks, you’re feeling better and love your teacher and classmates. 

Give it some time, but then again, don’t be afraid to switch again if you really know in your heart of hearts you’re not where you want to be. Because you know what, you’re allowed to do that.

Worried about shift shock?

The idea of shift shock can be intimidating - probably more intimidating than actually shifting roles is to you. But not only is it a completely normal feeling, there are things you can do to avoid it.

I help my clients identify the roles they would like to try out to build the lives they want. Part of this is getting clear on the type of company they want to work for. When they enter the interviewing stage, we walk through all the questions they should ask so that they can avoid shift shock when they get the role. If you’re ready to start, I can help!

Schedule your free session!