Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
Your #1 Mindset Hack for a Badass Life: Every Negative Thought is Wrong
Overthinking, worry, and anxious thoughts plagued my every day - my every minute and even my every second on some days. I couldn't escape them, no matter how hard I tried. The noise in my head, paired with the discomfort in my body from the perpetual stress, made it difficult to focus on anything else. It was like a constant battle that, for years, I couldn't win.
Those anxious days are long gone, thank goodness, but it was a journey to get to where I am now. And it's a journey that I continue on every day because let's be honest - anxiety isn't something that entirely disappears forever. Yes, you can make it smaller and smaller, but it is a daily practice and reprieve. Anxiety and worry are things that we learn to manage and cope with.
I used to think my constant worrying was just a part of who I was - it was just my personality, and I could do nothing about it. But I learned that wasn't true through therapy, self-reflection, cultivating many calming and grounding rituals, and a lot of trial-and-error. Anxiety is not our identity - it's simply an aspect of thinking and the nervous system that has gone into overdrive. And just like any other part of ourselves that isn't serving us, we can work on changing it.
The problem with anxiety and worry is that it keeps us stuck in a state of fear and doubt. We become so consumed with what could go wrong and what might happen that we forget to live in the present moment. In my practice, I support many people who suffer from anxiety, worry, and overthinking.
Often, the way it manifests in their life is as follows:
Difficulty concentrating on tasks and making decisions
Procrastination due to fear of failure
Loss of performance and productivity
Strained relationships at work and with loved ones
Increased physical discomfort like headaches or fatigue
Disrupted sleep patterns
Constant self-doubt and negative self-talk
It's a never-ending cycle that can leave us feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and hopeless. But the good news is we have the power to break this cycle and take control of our thoughts and emotions. It starts with acknowledging that we have anxiety and understanding how it affects us. From there, we can begin implementing healthy coping strategies and seeking professional help if needed.
So, where do you start in this process of rewiring your brain so you can be freed from this crippling anxiety? How do you begin to quiet the noise and calm the storm inside your head? You can do many things, from therapy and medication to self-care practices like mindfulness, exercise, and journaling. It's about finding what works for you and creating a personalized plan to help you manage your anxiety.
One thing that has helped me tremendously in managing my anxiety is changing my mindset, aka the way I think about things.
Instead of constantly worrying and catastrophizing, I learned to challenge my thoughts, question their validity, and focus on the present moment. This shift in thinking has allowed me to let go of unnecessary stress and find peace within myself.
Life constantly changes and evolves, and people's reactions are beyond our control. Every day, something new, potentially stressful, and uncertain could happen. Instead of continually worrying about what might go wrong or trying to control everything, I have learned to focus on what I can control - my thoughts and my reactions.
I have done so much work learning to control my thinking this year, and this mindset thing is like magic! There are no two ways about it:
Our thoughts - our mindset - shape our reality; they are the lens through which we interpret the world.
Someone I consider very wise once told me, "We are what we focus on." This means that if our thoughts are consumed with worry and anxiety, then that is what we will manifest in our lives. But, if we focus on positivity, gratitude, and peace of mind, that is what we will attract.
So why not choose the latter? We can rewire our brains by changing our thought patterns and creating a more positive mindset. It's a challenging task but possible with practice and perseverance.
I used to believe that my anxiety was something I would always have to live with - it was just part of who I am. But now I know that I can manage it and even overcome it. It takes work every day, but the rewards are endless.
Since then, those words have become my truth. When we focus on positivity and possibility, we open ourselves to a world of opportunities and growth. When we pay attention to negative and limiting thoughts, we trap ourselves in a cycle of self-doubt and fear, often creating unnecessary anxiety and stress.
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought," said the Buddha.
With that in mind, I've been training myself to focus on thoughts that empower me rather than those that keep me small and stressed out. And let me tell you, it's like magic! It can be confusing to believe one negative thought but not another, as if some are true and we should listen to them! That's why I've created a simple rule for myself and my clients:
Every negative thought is wrong!
As soon as one pops into my mind (as they will, thousands of times a day if you let them!), I choose to divert my focus to a positive thought instead. It takes practice (and a handy list of positive things to focus on helps), but the easier I do it, the easier it becomes.
Before I knew it, my mindset had shifted from one of limitation to one with ONLY possibility. I have also seen amazing results in the creatives and entrepreneurs I support.
I'm constantly amazed at how much this simple shift in thinking has affected every aspect of my life - from relationships to my sense of well-being and happiness, overwork to personal growth. It's not about ignoring reality or pretending everything is perfect; it's about choosing to see things in a way that serves us and empowers us to live in the reality we dream about.
So, next time you feel overwhelmed or stuck, remember that you have control over how you think and perceive the world around you. Choose thoughts that empower you and open yourself up to the endless possibilities that await.
Are you ready to rewire your brain and let go of anxiety for good?
Transforming your mindset is a powerful way to create the life you want. None of your thoughts are fixed or part of who you are - they are just thoughts, and as such they can be changed.
I help my clients transform their mindsetso they can become the badass humans and professionals they know they are meant to be. Discover the power of coaching with me. Click below and let's chat!
How to Think Yourself Into a Brand New and Magnificent Life
Sometimes, when life is going just right, the only thing we do is wait for it to go wrong. We anticipate and wait for that so-called other shoe to drop. Right now, so many great things are happening in my life and at work, and the fruits of seeds I planted many months or years ago are finally coming out. This reminded me of how accustomed we are to expecting bad things - not good ones - to happen; at least, I know I used to be like that. And honestly, sometimes I still am.
Just last week, with everything feeling right - the sun shining, my new start-up off to a great start, friends and family all in reasonably good health and happy - there it was: the undeniable and oh-so-familiar feeling of doom looming. Something had to go wrong! Everything was going too well, and I was simply feeling too good!
Feeling like doom is coming has been my experience for the biggest part of my life. I know it's the same for many of my clients. Before starting my journey of transformation and anxiety-free living, I was so used to it that even when things were going well, my brain would actively search for something to be worried or unhappy about.
But here's the thing: life is not meant to be lived in fear and worry. We are not meant to expect the worst constantly.
We're meant to live in joy and abundance, regardless of our circumstances. It took me a long time to truly understand this. Still, I'm now at a place where I can confidently say that we have the power to choose how we experience life and that we are manifesting our existence and everything in it every moment of every day.
We may not be able to control what happens around us, but we can control how we react. Even more so, we have a say in what we attract into our lives and how we shape our reality. I shared a lot about this in my book "Get Unstuck!" because it's so important: our thoughts create our reality.
Think about it for a minute.
People who don't have the negative thoughts you or I have don't have the fears either! Can you imagine?
I heard a lawyer share his story recently. When asked how he chose law as his field, he shared how he had always loved conflict. It felt like a game to him, how good he was at it, and how when someone disagreed with him, he enjoyed going into the conversation to get them to see he was right. As someone who has always dreaded conflict, I lost my breath there for a second. I NEVER imagined anyone could enjoy conflict, let alone be good at it. But when I thought about it a bit more, I realized that - of course - to be a good lawyer, not being afraid of conflict is sort of an asset :)
Again, it's all about our thoughts. So, I imagined what my life would be like if I didn't have any negative thoughts about conflict but looked at it from the perspective of a conflict-loving lawyer.
And, you know what, it changes EVERYTHING!
It was a profound moment of realization for me. Of course, I already knew that changing my thoughts changed my life, but this thing called growth is like an onion. It keeps on giving! When you think you've reached the last layer, it turns out there's another one underneath. So, I continue peeling my onion every day - in a positive way, of course!
I've also learned that the power of our thoughts affects our lives and radiates outward to those around us. Have you ever noticed how being around someone who is constantly negative and complaining can bring your mood down? On the other hand, being around someone positive and uplifting can instantly boost your energy and mindset.
So why not choose to be that person? Why not channel the thoughts of the person you want to be in this world? Changing your thoughts can transform your experiences profoundly.
Fear, doubt, and self-limiting beliefs are the number one blocks for many creatives and entrepreneurs. But what if we approached challenges with curiosity and excitement instead, just like lawyers approach conflict? What if we could see difficulties not as insurmountable obstacles but as opportunities for growth and learning?
What if, when everything is going well, we invite more good vibes into our lives and believe even better things are coming rather than waiting for the other shoe to drop?
For me, this shift in mindset was empowering. It felt like a door opening to a world where I had control over my life. I began to see that my thoughts were like seeds - when I planted positive, empowering beliefs, they blossomed into actions aligned with my goals and dreams. My current life is a testament to this. When I realized how powerful my thoughts were, I started to manifest a reality where fear didn’t dictate my decisions, and possibilities were endless.
You possess this power, too. It's within each of us to reshape our thoughts and, consequently, our lives. By consciously choosing to cultivate thoughts that are good for you and not entertaining the ones that are keeping you small, anxious, or fearful, you can unlock your true potential and create a life that not only meets but exceeds your wildest dreams.
Imagine the freedom and joy of a life unburdened by unnecessary fears and doubts. Imagine being like that lawyer. You have the power to make this your reality.
Here are five tips to help you shift your mindset toward one that is empowering and limitless:
Challenge your negative thoughts. The first and most crucial part of changing your negative thinking patterns is noticing and challenging your negative thoughts. When a negative thought pops into your mind, ask yourself if it is based on fact or fear. In 99% of the cases, it will be, so consciously choose to replace it with a more positive and empowering belief.
An example from my little mantra flashcards (see point two below) is the recurring belief that I held for the longest part of my life (which caused me to choose horrible partners to be with) that I must work to deserve attention or love. I have successfully changed that belief, and it has transformed my life. On my mantra cards (which I still read at least three times a day while listening to a manifestation playlist from Spotify), it says about this belief:
"I deserve attention and love just because I am. I am enough just as I am. I don't need to work for attention or love. Love is not equal to work. I am lovable just as I am. I don't need to do anything to deserve love." Repeating these mantras every day for years now has totally changed what I believe about myself and how lovable I am.Create mantra flashcards and read them multiple times every day. Mantra flashcards are small notes you write to yourself with positive affirmations and empowering beliefs. These could be simple phrases like "I am enough," "I am worthy," or "I am capable." You can add personal mantras that speak to your specific fears or doubts. The key is to read these cards multiple times a day, especially when you're in a negative headspace. This will help to reprogram your subconscious mind and reinforce positive beliefs about yourself.
I have cards for all aspects of my life and thoughts I want to change: my life, my relationships, my work, my goals... I take them with me everywhere and truly enjoy reading them; it's like a tiny meditation multiple times a day that reminds me who I really am and where I'm going. Powerful stuff!Surround yourself with positivity. This can include the people you spend time with, the media you consume, and even your living space. Make an effort to surround yourself with positive and uplifting people who support and encourage you. Follow social media accounts that promote self-love and acceptance, and unfollow those that make you feel like crap. Surround yourself with items that bring you joy and make you feel good about yourself, whether it's a favorite quote or a piece of art that speaks to your soul.
By creating a positive environment and having an eye for what I find beautiful and aesthetically pleasing, I am now constantly reminded of my worth and value as a person and the great way I know I can show up for myself and care for my well-being. I surround myself with the life I want to live. And you know what? That's how I create it!Practice gratitude daily. Take a few moments each day (early morning and late night for me) to reflect on what you are grateful for. This can help shift your focus from lack and negativity to abundance and positivity. Repeated daily, it will change your mindset!
Make sure these are not just little trivial things (although they can be); add in the real stuff too, like, in my case, "I'm grateful that my friend Lena, who is a badass feminist, teaches me how to be a badass woman myself" or "I'm so grateful for the freedom I created for myself to be able to work from anywhere" or "I'm so grateful for that new pink bikini that fits me so well." Yes, I hear you. What if there's nothing for which to be grateful? Well, sorry to break it to you, but that's just a load of BS. There is always, ALWAYS, something to be thankful for. You should write it down even more diligently if you find it hard to find.Visualize your desired outcome. It's essential to bring as many of your dreams and desires into your life now, even if not everything has manifested yet.
I take time every day to visualize myself living the life of my dreams. It's such an enjoyable experience, and it almost feels real. I go into a lot of details about where I am, what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, who I'm with, and even what I'm wearing. This practice helps me stay focused on my goals and motivates me to take action toward making them a reality. It's like creating a roadmap for your life; the best part is that you have complete control over it.
Bonus tip: REMEMBER TO TAKE ACTION! Ultimately, it's all well and good to bathe in the feel-good hormones from imagining your dream life, but you must take action to create a mindset that empowers you and a life that fills you with joy and gratitude. Eventually, you have to go out and do something to materialize it!
Shifting your mindset takes time and effort, but the results are well worth it. Your life will be completely transformed, and you will experience things beyond your wildest dreams. Trust me, it works!
Feeling stuck in your current situation?
You're not alone. Many professionals have the same feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt.
Imagine waking up every day excited about your future, no longer paralyzed by fear or self-sabotaging thoughts. It's time to break free and start living the life you've always dreamed of.
If You Give Yourself Time to Overthink, You Will. Here’s How to Stop and Get Unstuck
It’s a busy season for me. I’ve been working on my new project, nuumani.com, with the help of some great product developers and coaches while still having the pleasure of helping clients one-on-one. I've also aced two courses at Harvard Extension School, where I'm working my way to a Master's in Management. But let me tell you, this was a ton of work that I did not anticipate! While all of this was happening, and I was celebrating my birthday in Porto and visiting friends in Italy, I felt I was kicking it, and being in action, unhelpful procrastination started making it harder for me to focus on the right things.
I'm sure this is as familiar to you as it is to me. It's a direct result of the pressure, combined with the creative high of new projects: I just get so many additional ideas that I start to focus on the wrong thing. Worse, my focus gets so scattered that I start to overthink everything, so eventually, I end up doing nothing.
The truth is: if you give yourself time to overthink, you will. And it won't be good for your productivity.
The good news is that there are things you can do to stop yourself from going there, even when ideas pop up like fireflies on a hot summer night in the Midwest.
Here are a few tips to help you stay on track and avoid that mind trap:
Recognize when you're overthinking
The first step in overcoming overthinking is to recognize when it's happening. Pay attention to your thoughts and notice any patterns of excessive rumination or indecisiveness that keep you from getting work done.
Create a clear roadmap
One of the main reasons we tend to overthink is that we could be doing so many different things. Especially as creative entrepreneurs, we have a million ideas floating around in our heads. To combat this, create a clear roadmap or plan for your work that you can chop up into clear tasks for your day or week.
Set deadline
I’m such a victim of this. I’m so flexible with deadlines that I have become immune to moving them. To be clear, a little flexibility is good but too much is deadly for your work. Setting deadlines for yourself is another way to avoid overthinking. It creates a sense of urgency and helps you focus on completing tasks instead of juggling between them.
Let go of what isn't a priority
Because I became so stretched in time, I had to make some difficult decisions about how I spend it and say goodbye to some volunteering work I enjoyed and some projects I just don't have the time to work on right now. It can be challenging to let go of things we enjoy or have invested time in, but sometimes, it's necessary to prioritize and stay focused on what matters.
Know what success means to you
It's great to have many opportunities, and we often fear what will happen when we don't say "yes" to what shows up. But what about the risk if you do it? Would that help your business or project, or is it more of a distraction? Don't feel bad if something doesn't align with your goals or definition of success.
Remember, you’re in control of your journey and the decisions you make along the way. I have had to remind myself of this in the past few weeks, and as I'm writing this, I am still digesting a potent conversation I had with one of my business mentors this morning. He pointed out that I was overwhelming myself with overthinking and a lack of oversight or priorities. And you know what? He was right.
Being an entrepreneur is a fantastic journey I wouldn't trade for the world. But what a learning curve it is as well! And a humbling experience. The most important thing is to know what success means to you and prioritize accordingly. Don't let the fear of missing out or the pressure of others push you into overthinking and spreading yourself thin.
Saying "no" to ideas and staying focused is hard, but I know you've got this!
Feeling overwhelmed by endless decisions and mental clutter?
I understand how paralyzing overthinking can be. My private career and business coaching sessions are designed to help you break free from these mental traps and gain clarity.
Imagine a life where you make confident decisions with ease, achieve your career or business goals, and enjoy the process. With expert guidance and personalized strategies, you can turn your biggest vision into reality.
How to Overcome the Freeze Response When You Need to Make a Choice or a Decision
Feeling stuck? Afraid to choose between all the things you could do or want to do? You're not alone. Many people, especially those with numerous ideas and interests, are frozen by the fear of making the wrong choice. This paralysis can be particularly crippling for entrepreneurs and creatives. Let's explore where this fear comes from, why it's vital to take action even if we're unsure, and how to "combine" instead of choosing, using my unique coaching method. We'll also uncover the truth about clarity — it's more about elimination than you might think. Finally, I'll share three actionable tips to help you move from freeze to flow so you can unlock your true potential and finally do what you want!
Where does the fear come from?
Oh, well, hello there, perfectionism! Even though the fear of making a mistake can take many forms, and we'll explore a few below, behind the biggest lot of it, there is one thing hiding: perfectionism. You know, that thing that makes you think if you can't do it perfectly or choose the perfect course of action, then why bother at all? As ironic as it may seem, perfectionism often leads to procrastination and inaction.
This fear is also amplified by our society's obsession with success and failure, the pressure to comply with what our parents, loved ones, and even friends think we should or should not do. We are constantly bombarded with messages about "the right way" to do things and the "perfect" path to success. This can lead to a fear of failure, disguised as a "fear of choosing," as we fear not living up to these expectations or being judged for our choices.
Societal pressures
Society often sets high expectations, making us believe every choice is monumental, set in stone, and forever. But nothing could be further from the truth. We are conditioned to seek perfection and avoid failure at all costs because we think that we must stick to it at all costs once we have chosen something. This societal pressure can lead to analysis paralysis, where the fear of making a mistake outweighs the desire to move forward.
The truth is that nothing is ever written in stone. You are an evolving and changing being, and you can change your mind.
The dilemma of choice
With so many options available, choosing itself becomes daunting. The paradox of choice, though, suggests that having too many options can lead to anxiety and inaction. When faced with multiple opportunities, the fear of missing out (FOMO) on the "right" one can freeze us in our tracks.
The funny thing is that not choosing is also making a choice - not taking action and staying exactly where you are, which often leads to regret and a feeling of unfulfillment.
Fear of mistakes
Mistakes are often seen as failures rather than learning opportunities. The fear of making the wrong decision can be so overwhelming that it prevents any decision from being made at all. The result? You stay stuck, unable to move forward or seize new opportunities. I am so frustrated by this! Without "failure," there can be no learning; without learning, there can be no growth.
Reframing mistakes for what they truly are is important: growth moments on your path to success.
Why it's essential to take a step even when we don't know everything
Progress over perfection
Taking imperfect action is better than taking no action at all. Every step you take, even if it's not perfect, brings you closer to the clarity you're looking for in hesitating to make a choice. I know this is such a paradox, but it's true: you need to try things out to know what you want. Remember, you can't think yourself into anything; you have to take action to get there.
Learning through action
You learn more from doing than from overthinking. Each action provides valuable feedback, helping you refine your approach and make better decisions in the future. Inaction, on the other hand, offers no learning experience at all - except confirmation that you're not doing anything, which, in the long run, will be detrimental not only to your success but also to your trust in your abilities to actually get things done.
Building momentum
Action creates momentum. Once you take the first step, the next steps become easier. Where attention goes, energy flows. Momentum builds confidence, which, in turn, reduces the fear of making mistakes. Before you know it, you're moving forward with greater ease and assurance. It's almost like magic: the steps you once thought were impossible to figure out now offer themselves to you without you even thinking about it. It's called creative action, and I love it!
How to "combine" instead of choosing
My coaching methodology - The MOVE method
Rather than forcing yourself to choose between multiple passions or ideas, consider how you can combine them - or at least the elements you like in each. This approach allows you to explore different interests simultaneously, creating unique combinations that can lead to innovative solutions and new opportunities. If you want to learn more, schedule a free session with me by clicking here. This is the work I do with clients every day! If you want to know how they have experienced working with me, you can read their success stories here.
Integrative thinking
A big part of my work is helping my clients think of their various interests as pieces of a puzzle. How can they fit together to form a cohesive, sustainable, enjoyable picture? By combining different elements, you can create something unique that leverages all your skills and passions. The best part? You get to decide which parts to keep and which parts to let go of because, yes, you have the right to do that!
Examples of combining interests
If you're passionate about writing and technology, consider starting a tech blog. Love cooking and photography? Create a culinary Instagram account. Want to travel the world and have a daily writing practice? Build a travel blog like my client Lot did. She travels for free to the most unique locations and gets to write about it, too! The possibilities are endless when you allow yourself to think integratively.
The truth about clarity
I touched on it earlier in this post. Clarity is often misunderstood as a state of knowing exactly what you want. In reality, it's more about eliminating what you don't want. By trying different things and discarding what doesn't work - also on a bodily level, that is, really feeling it, you gradually gain clarity on what truly resonates with you.
Clarity comes through iteration. It's not a one-time event but an ongoing process of experimentation and growth. Each experience teaches you something new, helping you refine your path and focus on what matters most.
Finally, trust that clarity will come with time and action. Don't sit around waiting for it to appear magically; go out and do something. Don't rush the process or force decisions, though. Allow yourself the freedom to explore and discover your true path organically.
Three tips to get out of freeze and choose or make a decision
1. Do something
Honestly, it doesn't matter what you do as long as you do something. Take a deep breath, look at your to-do list, close your eyes, and, with your index finger, point at something on your list. Whatever you've pointed at, start doing it. This is the best way to get out of indecision and find clarity. Taking action will give you a sense of momentum and help you break out of the mental freeze.
2. Seek inspiration, aka practice productive procrastination
If you're feeling stuck, seek inspiration from outside sources. Read a book, watch a movie, listen to a podcast, or talk to someone who inspires you - make sure whatever you do is somehow connected to your goal. Sometimes, all it takes is a fresh perspective to spark new ideas and inspire clarity. So, if you're trying to start a business, and if nothing else, have a coffee with an entrepreneur; if you're procrastination on a health goal, do five minutes of stretching, go outside, or look up the gyms in your area. However small, the step you take will unlock the freeze and give you a sense of empowerment.
3. Seek support
Don't try to do this alone, especially if you've been stuck or in freeze mode for a while. Seek support from mentors, coaches, or like-minded peers. They can provide valuable insights, encouragement, and accountability, helping you stay on track and move forward. Also, don't forget about the power of vulnerability and reaching out to friends or family for emotional support. Sometimes, a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on can make all the difference in finding the courage to decide and take action.
Overcoming the freeze response so you can choose something or decide is a challenging but necessary journey. I see it in my coaching practice every day, but I also see how clients get out of it. By understanding the root causes of your fear, taking imperfect action, and combining your interests, you can break free from paralysis. Remember, clarity is an elimination game, and taking small steps will lead you closer to your goals.
Ready to take the next step? Click here to sign up for my upcoming Free Dive Deeper Webinar on June 19th at 2 pm EST / 8 pm CET to learn more about my MOVE method, how to beat perfectionism and procrastination, and finally get into action!
Feeling stuck in an overthinking loop and unable to make a decision?
Working with me is a great way to get unstuck and take action. We'll work together on identifying what is keeping you stuck, and I'll help guide you to the life and work you want.
Imagine your life if you could finally break free from the chains of overthinking, doubt and fear. How much progress could you make if you had someone supporting and motivating you every step of the way? Sign up for a free session today and find out.
Rediscovering the Excitement in Your Work: A Quick Guide for Bored-Out Creatives
Do you dread going to work in the morning? Do you feel less and less passionate about your job? Do you find yourself daydreaming about a different career path? Are you bored out of your mind just by thinking about your day ahead? If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, this quick guide is for you.
As a creative person, I understand the struggle of feeling uninspired and unfulfilled at work, especially when you think your skills and talents are underutilized. This can lead to burnout, which can affect your productivity, mental health, and, even worse, sometimes bore-out.
What is bore-out? And are you suffering from it?
Bore-out is a state of chronic boredom and disengagement at work, which can be just as damaging, if not more, than burnout. Many of the creative generalists and entrepreneurial clients I coach suffer from it. It's characterized by a lack of motivation, boredom, and apathy toward work. Unlike burnout, where you may feel overwhelmed with too much work, bore-out stems from not having enough challenging tasks or opportunities to use your skills. This can result in a loss of meaning and purpose in your job.
If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing bore-out. Of course, leaving your job for something more exciting is always an option. But perhaps you don't want to go because you love what you do and simply lost the spark.
When 'settling' becomes the norm
Sadly, for many people, work is something they endure rather than enjoy. Gradually accepting boring jobs is a silent killer of professional dreams. But why do so many people let this happen? The golden cage, of course, but also the fear of change, a desire for financial stability, or simply not knowing what you want can keep you stuck in the status quo.
The problem with staying in a job that bores the living life out of you is that it has a ripple effect. It impacts your career, mental health, and personal relationships. In my practice, this is often a sign that my client's professional life needs a radical shift - or a career redesign.
The problem is, how do you find inspiration again when you're bored out of your mind? How do you avoid falling into the same trap in the future?
Understanding the spark you've lost
Before I share a few tips with you on rediscovering work excitement, it's essential to understand the reasons behind job bore-out. These can stem from various issues, such as:
Monotony: When your job doesn’t challenge you, and the tasks are repetitive and not complex enough, it’s easy to become disinterested.
Mismatch of skills: If you feel that your talents or skills aren’t being utilized, this can lead to a sense of your capabilities being underutilized, which in turn causes you to feel unfulfilled and bored.
Lack of autonomy: When you don’t have control over your work or decision-making, it can make you feel like you’re not contributing to anything meaningful. This lack of agency can lead to feeling disengaged and uninspired.
Lack of growth opportunities: Without clear paths for career advancement or learning new skills, you may feel stuck in a dead-end job. This can lead to a lack of motivation and interest in your work.
There are more reasons to feel bored at work, but these are some of the more important ones. Now that you understand some of the causes let’s explore a few ways to reconnect with our work and find joy in it again.
How do you rediscover the excitement in your work?
To escape the bore-out cycle without having to quit your job, here are a few tips to help you rekindle your passion and creativity:
Identify the root cause: The first step in overcoming bore-out is understanding why you feel this way. This is usually a long and reflective step when I work with clients. Is it because of a lack of challenging tasks? Are you not using your skills to their full potential? Do you feel like your talents are being wasted? Is your manager not providing enough guidance or support? Once you identify the root cause, finding a solution will be easier.
Set new challenges for yourself: If your job has become too routine and mundane, try setting new challenges yourself. This could be taking on new projects, learning new skills, or volunteering for tasks outside your usual responsibilities. You can do this by yourself or include your colleagues or manager. This will not only make your work more interesting, but it can also help you develop new skills and grow professionally.
Take breaks and disconnect: Being constantly connected to work can lead to burnout or boredom. Taking breaks throughout the day and completely disconnecting from work during your off-hours is essential. This allows your mind to rest and recharge, leading to increased creativity and productivity when you get back to work. Set boundaries and stick to them, even if it means saying "no" to extra work or checking emails during off-hours.
Find meaning in your work: People become bored with their jobs because they don't see the purpose or impact of their work. This is also one of the main reasons people lose motivation. To counter this, try to find meaning in your job by connecting it to a larger goal or purpose. Understand how your role contributes to the well-being of others and the company's mission and vision. Knowing that your work has an impact can help motivate you and make you feel more fulfilled.
Seek out new opportunities: If you've been in your current job for a while, it's natural to feel like you've hit a dead end. However, there are always opportunities for growth and advancement if you seek them out. This could be through networking events, professional development courses, or even applying for new positions within the company. Don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone and take on new challenges. It can help reignite your passion for your job and open up new career opportunities.
I help creatives and entrepreneurs get unstuck. This often means that with the work we do together, they transition into new and better careers. But the pursuit of an exciting career doesn't mean you have to quit your job. The path to fulfillment and professional success is not often linear, and change is rarely immediate. Figuring out what a great career is for you is an ongoing journey of self-discovery and growth.
By recognizing the reasons behind your work boredom, addressing your fears and blocks, and actively looking for renewed excitement, you can find joy and purpose in your work again. So keep going. And if you need help, I'm here for you!
Feeling stuck in a career that no longer excites you?
You're not alone. Many creatives and entrepreneurs are looking for a spark in their professional lives. That's why I offer a free coaching session for individuals just like you who are ready to break free from the monotony and rediscover what it means to be truly engaged and fulfilled in your work.
Don't settle for boredom. Explore your potential, redefine your path, and find a new spark in your career. This is your chance to get personalized guidance, gain clarity, and take the first step toward a job that not only pays the bills but excites and inspires you!
Breaking Up With Your Job: When Passion Burns Out and It's Time to Move On
Even though I've been an entrepreneur for over two decades, I know what it feels like to break up with a job. I've had my share of corporate projects and freelancing contracts that stopped lighting me up after a while, and that I simply had to leave.
Leaving a job is a lot like breaking up with someone. At first, it's all fireworks and heart-eyed emojis. But slowly, the magic fizzles, and you can't remember why you fell in love. Maybe your boss is the clingy type who texts you at 3 a.m. with “emergencies,” or perhaps your once-thrilling work has become as monotonous as folding laundry. Whatever the reason, the spark is gone, and you're left wondering how to part ways with a job that you once thought would be your happily ever after.
But, my fellow career explorers and relentless seekers of inspiration and fulfillment, this isn't the end. It's a crossroads that can lead to something new and wonderful. Like a perfect storm, this might just be the nudge you need to guide you toward a path that aligns with you more. The reason you don't like your job anymore might not be because the job has changed. Perhaps it's you who has outgrown it.
I'm here to guide you through the steps of such professional uncoupling. In this article, let's explore how to break up with your job when the passion is gone so you can move forward with your career and find a job you love.
Recognizing it's time for a professional goodbye
When I was in my twenties, I thought I had it all figured out. I was passionate about my work and believed that passion would never fade. I was building my web agency and enjoyed every part of it. But as the years went on, I felt like something was missing. The passion I once had for my work was gone. Then, my parents passed away five weeks apart from each other. It was the final straw that made me realize that I needed a change.
It doesn't need to be a dramatic event like I had to go through, but at some point, something will make us face the cold truth that the job that once felt so exciting now feels like a dead weight chained to our ankles. It's not an easy feeling, especially when you've dedicated time and energy, years in my case, to building something for yourself.
As I mentioned in my book, the breaking point is different for everyone. Maybe your creativity has suffered, or your once-quiet office has become a crowded tearoom where you can't find a minute to think. There could be a number of reasons or a single, clear sign telling you that it's time to move on. The important thing is to listen.
Love the job you're with, or move on?
I know it's a cliché, but there's truth to the saying, "Find a job you love, and you'll never have to work a day in your life." The question is, was that job truly love for you or was it more like a fling? There's no shame in wanting more or seeking a career you're passionate about. You want it in your romantic relationships and deserve it in your professional life, too.
So what now? After you realize that you no longer love the job you're in, where do you go from there? Do you stay or do you go? Thinking about starting over or making a significant career change can be scary and overwhelming. But remember, this is your life, and you deserve to live it fully and passionately. Never let fear stop you from doing something you want to do, and certainly don't let it keep you from pursuing your dreams.
Rekindling the spark - or is it too late?
Sometimes, the love isn't over; it's just hiding, buried under the routine of the daily grind. Perhaps all you need is a little counseling and a professional therapist for your work life. I always tell clients that, before they take the leap, they should reach out to mentors, work with a career coach, and look for opportunities within their current company that may reignite the passion they once felt.
It’s essential to figure out if it's helpful to do the work to fix what's wrong or if the issue is simply irreparable.
The road to career satisfaction is not always straight - often, we take detours. But with perseverance and a willingness to figure out what's wrong, sometimes (not often), it's possible to rekindle the spark you a job you once loved.
Crafting your career path - the friendly breakup
As someone who has been helping creatives and entrepreneurs get unstuck for a decade now, I know how creating a plan for the next steps in your career can feel daunting, like when you decide to "put yourself out there" after a breakup. It’s exciting, invigorating, and scary, especially when you've been in a job that is stressful or bores you out for a long time.
You can start by creating a career roadmap of where you want to be in six months, a year, and three years. What do these milestones look like? What industry or roles are you looking for? You'll need some clarity to take the first step towards your ideal job. (If you need some guidance with this, I can help!)
Make sure that, as you go through with this breakup, you do it amicably. This is the best advice my father ever gave me. Burning bridges means you can never cross the river again, but in our professional lives, the river has more twists and turns than a Tom Clancy novel. Respect your current role, boss, and your colleagues (even if they've been crappy to you, don't leave slamming doors if you can). Give notice, be open about your reasons for leaving, and be willing to help make the transition as smooth as possible (expect if they've been real d*cks with you). How you exit will influence the next chapters of your career, and you want those stories to be ones of grace and dignity.
The post-breakup glow-up - finding that new job!
When you've been under pressure for a long time, knowing you need to do something about your situation while being stuck in overthinking and hesitating, finally breaking up can be liberating. Believe me, I know. I have a few projects (and exes, ahum) that I lingered with for way too long. When you finally cut ties, it's the perfect time to redefine yourself and address the parts of your professional life that no longer serve you.
Take your time with the healing process; take the time to learn and grow from this transition. Use this time to reflect on what you truly want in your career and take steps toward achieving those goals. It could be taking a course, networking with people in the industry you want to enter, or updating your LinkedIn profile.
Remember to stay true to yourself throughout this process. Don't let outside pressure and influences keep you from pursuing what truly makes you happy. This is your journey, and embracing change and finding your passion is a rebellious act that will ultimately lead to personal growth and fulfillment.
The role and benefits of a career coach
Trying to figure out your next career move alone can be challenging. This is where a career coach - like Moi - can play the role of your professional wingman, your relationship advisor for the professional world. A good and experienced career coach can help you assess your skills and passions, identify your career goals, and help create a strategy to find a job you'll love.
As a career coach, I guide my clients in times of uncertainty and change. My path to becoming a career coach wasn't a straight line; it resulted from my journey, trials, lessons, and a desire to change careers and help others do the same. I understand the courage it takes to question the familiar, to stand at the cliff of your future, and dare to dream of more. My approach is deeply personal because I believe each person is unique, and no single blueprint can fit us all.
If you want to know more, I poured everything I learned in the decade I've been doing this work in my book called "Get Unstuck!" Click here to get your copy now.
If you're looking for more personalised support, we can work together one-on-one to explore not just the "what" of your next steps but the "why" and the "how," creating a strategy that aligns with what you want and your deepest values and aspirations. It's more than finding a job; it's about imagining and creating a career that fills your life with purpose and joy.
That job you love is waiting for you, I know because I've been helping people just like you find theirs for ten years now, and I'm here to help you find it too!
Ready to break up with your job and find the career of your dreams?
Many clients experience fear, doubt, and hesitation when considering a career change. But with the right support and guidance, you can break free from the comfortable but unfulfilling job and find a career that truly makes you happy.
Book a free call with me - your career wingman - today and take the first step towards your dream career!
How to Stay Focused on Your Goals When Life Gets Busy
As I'm in the midst of launching nuumani.com, my new platform for coaches, I'm reminded about how life is nothing short of a whirlwind. As I juggle coaching clients, virtual book event preparations, relocation, and launching a new venture, I regularly find myself overwhelmed and wondering why I decided to do these things again.
In the busyness of pursuing my goals - the ones that shape my dreams and aspirations - meaning gets lost in the shuffle, and with it, the focus I need to stay on track. I'm not the only one experiencing this. Most of my clients share with me how they set out to do something, get excited and determined, and then life happens, and it quickly erodes their focus and drive.
The challenge then becomes to set goals and stay on track to achieve them - easier said than done.
For most professionals today, whether entrepreneurs, career professionals, creatives, or artists, the quest for balance and sustained motivation is not just an abstract concept but a practical need for personal and professional growth. In this article, we'll explore strategies for maintaining focus on our goals, even when times get too busy to take a breath.
The role of accountability in achieving your goals
As a coach with a decade of experience helping people get unstuck, I know accountability often plays an important part in helping someone achieve their goals. When we're held responsible for our actions, whether through a mentor, coach, or peer, we tend to perform better. But accountability is not just a tool for performance or productivity – it's a support system, a structure that helps to anchor our goals within the framework of our daily lives.
However, successful accountability structures are not one-size-fits-all. It's important to create an accountability system that will work for you by finding the methods and people that motivate you without adding undue stress or pressure to your already busy schedule. Regular check-ins, shared milestones, and even social commitments tied to our goals can all help us stay on track and turn our dreams into concrete, actionable plans.
The importance of clarity
One of the central pieces of my work is about helping clients gain clarity about what they really want. When we're stuck, we can only arrive at unclear or overly vague goals. A lack of specificity leaves room for ambiguity and excuses. When life gets busy, having a clear direction allows you to adapt and prioritize, ensuring that no matter what's blocking you, you're always trying to move forward.
The first step to figuring out what you really want is to consider both your long-term vision and short-term goals. This exercise encourages you to be honest about what truly matters to you, allowing for a better understanding of how different aspects of your life fit together. With this mindset, you can then set specific, achievable objectives that align with your purpose – and use them as markers on the road to achieving success. A tip I share with all my clients - and something I do regularly - is to document your goals and progress, whether in a journal, vision board, or digital tool. This allows you to track your growth and stay accountable to yourself.
Sometimes, the most significant step towards achieving our dreams is simply taking the time to figure out what those dreams truly are. So take a moment to reflect on your values, passions and purpose, then set clear goals that align with them.
Finding balance and prioritizing self-care
In our fast-paced world, balance and self-care often take a backseat to professional and personal demands. Paradoxically, these elements are critical to sustained focus and high productivity and performance. Neglecting our well-being can lead to many things, including burnout, which in turn can derail or halt even the most well-thought-out and planned goals.
Prioritizing self-care is not selfish; it is strategic. It means setting boundaries, saying no when necessary, and making time for the activities that recharge our batteries and inspire us. Finding balance is about recognizing that our goals are a part of our lives, not the entirety and that a holistic approach leads to greater long-term fulfillment. Especially when things get busy, blocking time in my calendar to do things just for myself has been a game-changer in maintaining balance and keeping momentum toward my goals.
The art of doing enough
The belief that every action must produce monumental results is a pervasive and destructive fallacy. In reality, daily, consistent effort often outweighs sporadic, intensive bursts. It's the art of doing enough - enough to push the needle forward, enough to maintain progress, and enough to remain engaged in the pursuit of your goals - that will ultimately make the difference.
This is the compound effect, where small actions, repeated over time, lead to significant results. Often, we underestimate the power of consistency and overlook the progress we make in our daily efforts. It also feels boring to many of us or not challenging enough to actually do. But herein lies the magic of it: you don't need to rush or do everything today; what you need is to build the habit of doing things steadily every day.
Trusting this process means letting go of perfectionism and celebrating each step forward, no matter how small. This mindset shift helps you stay motivated and committed to your goals for the long run. It's also a reminder that balance is not about doing everything at once but rather finding what works for you and sticking with it consistently.
So take a deep breath and let go of the pressure to constantly strive for more. Instead, focus on being present in your journey, embracing each stage as it comes, and taking small steps towards your goals every day.
Deadlines and urgency
I hate deadlines, and I love them. They're like a double-edged sword - on the one hand, they push me to get things done and give me a sense of urgency, but on the other hand, they can also cause me immense stress and anxiety.
Deadlines provide structure and motivation but can also induce unhealthy amounts of pressure. Let's not forget all deadlines are man-made! So, somewhere, someday, someone decided that this specific date and time was the deadline. Achieving this thing by then is not set in stone or predetermined by fate.
It's important to remember that your goals are yours, and there is no "right" or "wrong" timeline to achieve them. Instead of letting deadlines dictate your progress, focus on creating a routine and committing to consistent actions toward your goals. It's important to regularly review the urgency of our goals and align deadlines accordingly. Not everything we want to do needs to be done now, and setting unrealistic timelines based on external pressures can lead to missed opportunities, failed attempts at creating something great, and a massive amount of frustration.
The problem of all-or-nothing thinking
I used to be such an all-or-nothing person. If I couldn't do it or have it all right now, I wasn't interested in having or doing it at all! This mindset is a common theme in my clients that often leads to paralysis and inaction. It certainly was for me. When we perceive any imperfection from our ideal path as a failure, we set ourselves up for disappointment and, ultimately, a failure because we give up on our goals. Recognizing this false idea is the first step toward a healthier, more pragmatic approach to goal-setting.
To combat all-or-nothing thinking, it's important to reframe our accomplishments and mistakes as lessons and opportunities for growth. Small setbacks should not overshadow the progress we've made or the resilience we've shown. Additionally, not being able to do everything "right now" does not mean we can't still move forward and make progress. Whether it's taking small steps, adjusting deadlines, or seeking support from others, there are always options to do something productive toward our goals without falling into the trap of perfectionism.
At the end of the day, achieving your goals is a journey rather than a destination. You'll face obstacles and setbacks along the way, but that does not diminish the value of your efforts. Just keep going!
Transitioning from goals to actionable tasks
One of the biggest mistakes I see clients make is putting goals on their to-do lists instead of actionable tasks. Goals are great, but they can often feel too daunting and nebulous to tackle when you're sitting down to work. That's why it's important to break them down into specific, achievable tasks.
For example, instead of putting "write a book" or "website" on our to-do list, we can break it down into smaller tasks such as "write 500 words per day," "edit one chapter per week," or "get my about page done and publish it online."
Goals and tasks are not the same, and the distinction between the two is crucial. While a goal is an endpoint, a task is a step - a concrete and often immediate action that moves us toward that end.
I do this on a weekly basis on Sunday afternoon when I plan out the week ahead. I look at my goals and write out small, clearly defined tasks that I'm capable of doing in two hours or less. It's through the completion of these tasks that I've achieved all my goals - all my goals, no exception.
Remember that it's a marathon, not a sprint
In my eagerness to achieve, I often took a sprinter's approach at the start of a marathon project. What I've learned is that long-term success requires pacing myself and working in a sustainable way. It's about understanding that the pursuit of my goals is not a race to be won but a continuous effort to be enjoyed and maintained while I'm working at it.
By adopting a marathon mindset, it's easier to work with consistent effort and patient progress. You can recognize that each step, no matter how small, is a victory in itself and an integral part of the larger narrative of your personal and professional development and success.
In conclusion, the pursuit of our goals is an ongoing practice that requires adaptability, resilience, and a diligent commitment to personal growth. By nurturing a supportive environment, maintaining a clear vision, and sustaining a balanced approach, we can overcome life's busyness and achieve what we set out to do.
Remember, the secret to success lies not in doing it all at once but in doing enough consistently and with purpose. I believe in you!
Is life sidetracking your goals?
Don't worry, you're not alone. And I can help! Together, we'll build a personalized strategy to keep you on track toward achieving your goals while also taking care of yourself. Let's get started today!
Schedule a free coaching session to get started. Keep going. Keep growing. You got this!