The multi-passionate struggle: when quitting simply means you’re done

Being a multi-passionate person in today’s world can be difficult.  Multi-passionate creative entrepreneurs are often told that they need to pick a thing and stick to it. But as multi-passionate people know, there’s no real way to do that. At least, not without feeling like you’re leaving out so much of your personality, so many of your passions and dreams. If this need to choose wasn’t enough, there’s something else that is equally annoying, or even worse. That’s the guilt accumulated from not seeing things through or finishing what you started.

But before I dive further into this…

What Is a Multi-Passionate Person Really?

The way I see it (I’m not alone in this), being multi-passionate is simply a personality denominator – not unlike being an introvert or an extrovert. It’s something that you need to be aware of and accept as part of who you are in order to be happy.

Just like introverts and extroverts, multi-passionate people have a number of common personality traits that define them. Especially when it comes to the passion part, where attention and distraction will often form a cycle of various stages that the multi-passionate woman goes through. Here’s a 5-stage example:

1. Beginning a Cycle

You’re at the beginning of a cycle, you’ve just found a new passion.

You’re interested, you start doing research, you learn and enjoy this process just for the sake of acquiring new knowledge.

2. Digging Deeper

You dig deeper and become more aware of the subject you’re interested in. 

You might even get a little obsessed. This new subject is all that you can think or care about, you want to know everything there is to know about it.

3. Telling People

You’re starting to tell people about it. 

You’ve mastered enough information, you want to spread the love and passion all around. Whatever it is, you’re talking about it – a lot.

4. Formalizing Knowledge

You want to formalize this knowledge and pass it on. 

You feel the urge to teach others, so you start a project or put something into place that formalizes the way you share information about your new passion.

5. Starting to Lose Interest

People want what you’ve got – you’ve hooked them – but now you’re starting to lose interest. 

You’re not at the end of your learning curve. You’re just at the beginning or in the middle of sharing your knowledge. But here comes something else into your path, you know it’s time to move on. This coming usually at a point where the outside world will call your work unfinished.

Although the entire process is usually amazing, that last stage often comes with a good dose of guilt and negative feelings. Because, for many multi-passionate people, the journey matters more than the outcome. So, things are left unfinished, or interests change and projects are left for later.

To the multi-passionate person herself, this is not a problem. She’s usually happy with the choices that she makes, with where her passion takes her. It’s for those around her that leaving things the way she does is difficult. In turn, this makes things difficult for her.

We Are Raised to Do, to Achieve

A big part of that is finishing things. Projects and other things we creatively undertake. Even the things we want to learn and master, usually have beginnings, middles, ends. Yet, for multi-passionate women, it’s not finishing that matters. It’s cultivating knowledge, learning something new, mastering a new skill…

Many multi-passionate women are often done with that long before their projects are finished. That’s where the issue lies. Although, as a multi-passionate woman, you might feel satisfied and ready to move on, the world around you tells you you’re a failure, or lazy, or that you can never see anything through. You feel guilty.

But I’m here to tell you that there is no reason for you to feel this way!

You Must Finish What You Start

“You must finish what you start” is a common belief that is certainly true for many things, very helpful to getting things done, I have no doubt. When it comes to multi-passionate creatives, in many cases, this is nothing more than a limiting belief holding them back from being who they are.

Don’t understand me wrong here. I’m not saying that nothing ever needs to be finished, or that systematically leaving things undone is always OK. That’s not what I’m after here. What I am saying is that it’s part of the personality of multi-passionate people to have changing interests once the learning is done, or once a skill is acquired. That is perfectly OK, too.

You might find yourself at a crossroads in your life right now. Maybe a hobby doesn’t serve you well anymore, or maybe you’ve learned all that you could from a particular interest. It might also be that you’re contemplating a much more drastic change, like walking away from a PhD program after investing six years of your life in it, or deciding that your online business isn’t cutting it for you anymore.

Those Are Big Moments, Big Decisions

I want to encourage you to think about yourself and your happiness when you make them. Feel through the guilt and the shame, to what lies ahead on the other side of that: freedom to do what you want to do. Don’t listen to the naysayers, accept that very few people will encourage you at this point. Simply because only a few see the world the way you do.

If that’s your case, if you’re at that point right now, I want you to know that I’ve been there, that I know. I’m so very proud of you. I promise you that quitting is not giving up, or giving in, or lacking willpower.

Quitting, at this point, simply means you’re done.

Do let me know below what crossroads you’re on, or have been on in the past. Where your decisions ultimately led you. I would love to know.

Do you have multiple passions?

We are all born with multiple passions, but many of us lose touch with them as we grow up. We start to think that it’s not possible to have more than one passion at a time. But the truth is, if you want to be successful in business and life, you need to embrace your multi-passions. It will help you become happier and more fulfilled in every aspect of your life.

But what if you're not sure what your passions are? Or if you're afraid of pursuing them because you don't want to fail? That's where private coaching can help. I can help you figure out what your passions are and how to use them to create a successful business.

Click here to schedule your free coaching session today!

10 happiness secrets of highly creative people

I find that there’s a lot to learn from the creatives and artists among us. And although it’s certainly true that the creative life is not always an easy life, because making a living can be hard, or staying true to your heart might not always be that easy, I find that living a creative life and being a creative person offers ways to happiness that are often unique and worth exploring.

So, here’s a list of 10 things that I have found to be uplifting, and which help make me happy, and that highly creative people often do, too.

1. Daydream.

As a child, I used to daydream a lot. I was a wandering child, always asking questions and looking up at the sky in awe, overwhelmed and intrigued by all the mysteries of the world. Back then, really, I used to daydream a lot. And in that world, surrounded by my stories, I was not only happy, but my imagination was fed and my emotions were expressed. As adults, we don’t daydream nearly enough for our own good. By starting what I call a “daydream practice” – that is, by allowing yourself to daydream regularly and to let your mind wander off for no other purpose than to do so, I’ve become better at thinking things up, putting things into perspective, and even contemplating alternate solutions to problems. And this has helped me to be happier.

2. Write it down.

Creative people have a way to nurture and harvest their creativity, and it often looks nothing like what you think it does. Creativity requires work – hard work, sometimes. It might well be that some of us are born with a more creative mark-up than others, but that doesn’t mean that creativity doesn’t need to be practiced. And, in fact, it really does. A first and important step for me has been to start writing all of my ideas down, whatever they are. This has not only helped me to see clearer inside my creative mind, but also to get a lot of noise out of my head and onto paper. And that has quieted my mind, which in turn has made me happier.

3. Express yourself.

We all want to be seen. In fact, I believe that this is one of the most important things for us in this world. We want to be acknowledged for who we are. And, as creatives, we want to offer the world what is uniquely us. We have a creative fever that never really goes away, and which is eased only by the creative process. That process is mostly about expressing ourselves, our ideas, our feelings, and our emotions, but also our torments, and even our darkest hours, and letting all of this be seen. And as terribly difficult sometimes to really show and express yourself authentically, if you don’t – and I think this goes for anyone, creative or not – you’ll always feel like something is missing from your life, and you’ll never be truly fulfilled.

4. Enjoy solitude.

It’s so uncommon to be really alone these days. And I’m not only talking about the physical aspects of not being surrounded by others. Of course, it’s fairly easy to separate yourself from others and look for a quiet spot, but that doesn’t mean you’re alone or even enjoying a moment of solitude. With the media at our fingertips and in our pockets, all the time these days, it’s extremely rare to be absolutely alone. And that’s a shame. Because solitude can be very beneficial to your well-being, and it offers so many beautiful things. Solitude, for instance, allows you to simply sit with yourself, to get to know yourself better, to calm down from your hectic life, to reflect upon your actions, and even to hear and listen to your own voice much better. And I believe that all of these things are ingredients for a happy and fulfilled life.

5. Follow your passion.

Highly creative people have a tendency to follow their hearts more than the less creative among us. Because creativity defines them so much, many will have much stronger opinions about what it is they are willing to do to sustain themselves. And very often, doing what they love will be at the heart of that.
At our core, I believe that we are creative beings with a need to express ourselves, and, as a result of this, our happiness greatly depends on it, too. And it might be that you don’t have the opportunity to quit everything and start your passion project full-time, but whatever it is that you’re passionate about, my point is: Do it as much as you can, infuse as many hours of your day with it, and always try to move closer to it. Even an hour a week spent on your passion project will make you happier.

6. Explore and observe.

Creative people have a different way to look at the world. Simply by looking around and observing what goes on, new ideas and projects can emerge. And this capacity to create by looking and exploring is something that I was able to develop within myself, too – a work in progress – and this makes me happy. And my bet is, it can make you happy also, whatever your level of creativity. Because, when we make new things or think up new ideas, we tap into the essence of what we are: creative beings. And doing that feels good.

7. See beauty everywhere.

The world is a magical place. Life is a magical thing. The mere fact that we’re given the opportunity to experience it and live through it is a mystery that I can’t stop wondering about. And, lately, I’ve been more aware than ever before about how beautiful the world is. Beauty is everywhere. And looking at the world like this – with the eyes of an artist, almost – lifts me up. Everywhere I look, I notice little signs of beauty, of love and compassion, of what the world has to offer. It can be as simple as a flower blossoming, or the love of a cat for her little kittens. Other times, I’m witness to courageous acts by women who decide to finally follow their hearts or to engage in acts of compassion towards themselves when they accept the challenge of loving themselves for who they are. All of that is beautiful, and by looking at the world this way, I become more optimistic and, in turn, happier.

8. Don’t just do – be.

I’m an ambitious woman; I have been for most of my adult life. And until about five years ago, my biggest ambition was to be perfect and be worthy of love. That translated into me wanting to always be in control, to accept all that came my way, to never question the workload others were giving me, or that I was giving myself, and to always be doing. I’ve spent many years like this – disconnected from myself, my body, and the world around me. Until I couldn’t anymore, and I realized that all these years I had just be doing, without being. And by returning to my body, and allowing myself to be instead of always needing to do, I found a new sense of calm and peace that I hadn’t known existed.

9. Take a break.

Creative people know that it takes time to create. And that taking a breather once in a while, or taking a break by changing activities during their work day, is very beneficial to the work they’re doing. And taking breaks like this is not only good for the work itself, but also for you. Moments like this can ground you, and bring you back to yourself. They can help you to feel nourished throughout the day by the activities that you undertake, and they can make you feel more alive, more useful, and even more joyful.

10. Play.

Enjoy yourself. Discover what you love. Then do more of it. Don’t take things too seriously, and explore yourself and the world around you. This is what creative people do. They need it to express themselves fully, and to enjoy their lives. And you know what? They’re not alone. We all need it. We start our lives as playful children, and along the way we lose this part of ourselves and become so serious sometimes. And with that, we lose a bit of happiness. When you see creative people play, you see how good it makes them feel. It’s essential for many to be happy. And I believe this is true for all of us. So, play!

I hope this list inspires you to find creative ways to find more happiness in your life. And, tell me, what habits do you know of that make you happy?

How to boost your confidence as a creative perfectionist

High-achieving perfectionists are often multi-passionate creatives. Believe me, I know. I've always believed that creating requires you to disclose, and show a secret part of your yourself, of your soul. That this part is forever connected with anything that you've created.

Wouldn’t you say that putting a secret part of yourself out into the world, for everyone to see, might make even the most confident person a little insecure? Not to mention high-achieving perfectionists who'd rather not show anything at all, then present something less than perfect to the world?

Perfectionists or not, we all carry with us the weight of what we think others expect of us.

We all carry a heavy suitcase of beliefs, everywhere we go. We hold beliefs about everything and everyone, including ourselves. When it comes to those beliefs, we have an endless list of how we think we’re supposed to be. Often, though, those beliefs are not true. But that’s difficult to grasp, because we hardly ever question what we believe in. Beliefs that aren’t true are often called limiting beliefs, and perhaps you have heard of them before. They are so called because they limit you, either in your doing, your thinking, or even in your being.

A classical example of a limiting belief is when we hold onto a way of doing something simply because that’s the way we’ve always done it or were taught how to do it, like the belief that you need formal training or innate talent to call yourself an artist.

If we start questioning that kind of beliefs, most of them will not survive. In a larger setting, this is also called questioning the status quo. I have found this to be one of the ways to find more confidence in many areas of my life - as a writer, coach, woman, and also as an entrepreneur.

1. Question everything

So my first advice is to question everything. That’s the best way to uncover your limiting beliefs and to let go of them. When it comes to confidence, we have a lot of them. A prime example for creative people is the “I’ll never be good enough” belief.

But there are many others. All of them helping to lower your self esteem and keep you from fully expressing yourself. Whenever your inner critic talks you down, or whenever a thought about you not being good enough or creative enough pops into your mind, question that thought.

Why wouldn’t you be good enough?
Is what that voice is saying to you really true?
What is the truth here?

2. Surround yourself with like-mined people

A confidence booster that always does it for me is to surround myself with like-minded people.

If I don’t feel confident about my writing, I’ll surround myself with writers who know my pains and insecurities, and who share them with me. If I’m not sure about any aspect of my life (not just the creative parts of me), I’ll try to surround myself with people who I share that aspect of my life with. Guaranteed confidence booster, especially if followed by the mantra: If they can to it, so can I.

3. Show your talent

Another option, albeit a more daring one, is to show your talents to others.

As a writer, that means publishing your words, or sharing them aloud or in a writer’s group, as a painter or another visual creative, that might be to exhibit your work or try to sell it.

Whatever your creative field is, there's something tangible that you can create and that others can see. Show it to them. In most cases, you’ll understand that things are really much better than you think they are, and that your creative work is worth it.

4. Realise that nothing is ever perfect

A big one for me was to realise that nothing is ever perfect. As a high-achieving perfectionist who loved to always be in control, being creative – although it was my calling and inner nature – was difficult for a long time.

Being creative requires that you let go of control, that you surrender to your creativity. Not an easy task for me! But I was able to slowly let go of having everything the way I thought I needed it to be by:

• putting myself out there,

• surrounding myself with like-minded people,

• and questioning my beliefs about myself and my creative skills.

As a result, I accepted that things were what they were, that creativity is magickal and, although uncontrollable, that we can cultivate it, that what I created, as long as I did my best, was good just the way it was.

5. The person you need to convince is you

This brings me to my final and most important point. In most cases, boosting your confidence when it comes to your creative skills only requires you to convince yourself that you are a creative person.

Everyone else around you already knows, and doesn’t question what you are capable of doing or what you're creating. In most cases, you're the one that doesn’t believe:

• start by introducing yourself as the artist that you are,

• write a bio of yourself, or an elevator pitch, and test it out on people,

• see how they react,

• use those reactions to convince yourself that yes, indeed, you are creating beautiful and worthy things!

The more you practice, the more it will become real to you.

The more you'll realize that being an artist is a mindset, way of life in which you decide to show a little part of your soul – however imperfect – to the world.