Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
5 Ways for Creative Generalists to Build Better Boundaries
I like to think that setting boundaries is a version of self-care. It creates a rule or limit that I can impose on others to protect myself. And no one can get upset with me for creating a boundary - well they can and probably will, but they shouldn’t and it won’t be for me to worry about. It’s on them.
When you build boundaries, you’re telling others what is and isn’t acceptable to you. Other reasons why setting boundaries is important - and necessary, include getting the respect you deserve and growing your own self-respect, improving your emotional health and relationships, warding off burnout, and decreasing your stress and anxiety.
Think about it: when you aren’t busy worrying what others will think when you ask for something you need, if you could get work done without being distracted by a colleague who just wants to chat, or if you could go to the movies by yourself just because you want to, things would be so much easier. You’d be able to breathe and better show up for what really matters in your life
Creative generalists are people who are good at multiple things. Most people try to niche down and become an expert in one specific thing, but creative generalists can’t. Our brains are wired differently and we need fresh ideas, new topics, and an array of things to study to feel fulfilled. I myself have worked in marketing, philosophy, the web, digital marketing, coaching, and as a consultant for start-ups. I’m also a start-up founder, a researcher, and a writer. If I hadn’t discovered that I was a creative generalist, I would have continued to try and fit myself in the box society built for people who enjoy niching down, but I would have felt miserable that I couldn’t follow my many interests for the rest of my life.
Creative generalism may sound like a person who wants to do just one thing, but really it’s about wanting to do all the things. Being a Jack/Jill/Jay of all trades. Unfortunately, it can also mean we’re more prone to avoiding boundaries and getting sucked into all. the. things.
For real, think about all the hobbies you have started and abandoned. Think of all the books you tossed aside when they became repetitive. Or think of the fact that you have multiple jobs or interests in various fields and are always daydreaming about pursuing them. If this is you, my friend, I have news for you: you’re a creative generalist.
Welcome to the club!
With that in mind, here are five ways to build better boundaries so you can get back to doing the work that makes you feel fulfilled.
Learn to say no. It’s so important to say no. You have to stop agreeing to do things you don’t really want to do. To paraphrase Mark Manson in The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, if it’s not a, “Hell yes!” It’s a “F*ck no.”
Know yourself well. When you are self-aware and have reflected on who you are and what you want, you will have a clear idea of the boundary that needs to be drawn. There is nothing worse than feeling like a boundary should be put into place for a while, but being unclear of what you need, and then blowing up at someone, or getting overwhelmed, and enforcing the boundary in a hostile state. If you know what you need, and you’re clear about why you need it, you can articulate it clearly and be heard more openly.
Know what matters to you. It’s important to know what kind of life you want and what kind of person you want to be before you can effectively put boundaries into place. If you don’t know what matters to you, how do you know if those boundaries are actually important - they may be misplaced.
Make sure you know what your skills are - both the hard and soft ones. By knowing what you can do, you’ll be able to figure out what work - or life decisions - are meant for you. For instance, if one of your soft skills is working in a collaborative setting, you might not be happy working independently for long periods of time. When you know the environment you thrive in and the skills you want to use, it’s easier to pick things that actually align with you.
Practice flexibility. None of these steps are easy, but for creative generalists looking to build , trying to also be flexible for when life gets in the way, can be extremely challenging. But it’s important. Learning when you can be flexible and still feel good about having, and asserting, a boundary is the most important mindset to adopt.
Most of the creative generalists I know - myself included - are also perfectionists, people-pleasers, and Type A overachievers. We want to do the best, say yes to everything, and if it doesn’t work out, we have a tendency to crumble. But that’s because we don’t have good boundaries! We aren’t saying no to work, events, and other things that don’t align with what matters to us, what the skills we want to use are, and what we know we want to be doing. We are being inflexible.
We can’t move forward and take up space in a way that truly represents who we are until we can create boundaries and stick to them (when needed).
Ready to build a boundary that doesn’t crumble?
Building boundaries is hard, but so is living a life where you feel stuck because no one listens to your wants and needs (including yourself).
When we work together, we figure out those five things above. We get into the nitty gritty of who you want to be and start crafting boundaries to get you there.
How to unleash your full potential for success and overcome self-sabotage
The three biggest things holding you back from reaching your full potential for success are excuses, procrastination, and yes-buts. That’s it.
Everyone gets overwhelmed at some point in their lives and work. We have responsibilities that rely on our work but also tend to get in the way of it. When we use those responsibilities as ways to explain why we haven’t gotten something done or haven’t allowed ourselves to change in some way, we are just keeping ourselves stuck.
Instead of finding reasons why we can’t do something we want to do, we have to realize that we are in control of our destiny. We can make whatever choices we want. In fact, in coming up with excuses or procrastinating, we are making a choice. We are actively inhibiting our ability to reach our full potential for success.
We are self-sabotaging our dreams.
Think about the attorney who dreams of being an author. Every time they feel the urge to write their novel, they get distracted by their family, legal work, or and their inbox or develop the urge to clean the house. Every day they miss their dreams or taking a step in its direction. You might look at the attorney and say, “Hey! Just write!” And it is that simple, but when did you last listen that advice?
Two of the most common ways we make excuses and self-sabotage are procrastination and yes, but-ing. When I talk about procrastination in sessions, the first thing my clients tell me is how disappointed they are with themselves for procrastinating. They feel ashamed and guilty and can’t seem to understand why they can’t just do the thing - why they keep getting in their own way.
The truth is we self-sabotage because we have a lack of motivation, a fear of failure or criticism, and difficulty defining our goals and tasks. It’s not that we have a lack of vision; it's almost as if we have too much vision, too much energy. Also, for those of us who are neurodivergent, procrastination tends to make work more interesting. We get a thrill from waiting until the last minute and pulling a project out of nowhere. But, while that might work one or two times, it’s not sustainable and will ultimately lead to burnout.
The other type of excuse is yes, but-ing. This is where you agree with someone while simultaneously making an excuse as to why you can’t do something.
“Yes, you’re right, I could do that, but…”
“Yes, I know, but…”
“Well, normally I’d say yes, but…”
Yes, buts are statements that chop off your dominant hand before you even get going. They limit you from your true potential, block your path to success, and create space for doubt - in your mind and the mind of others.
For instance, let’s say you had always dreamed of being an astronaut, but when you were in college, you failed physics. Now, you’d had a severe case of mono and were extremely sick. You should have dropped the course, but you were determined to pass. So even though you had a 102 fever for three weeks leading up to the final, and even though your teacher told you to retake the course because of all your absences from being sick, you took the final anyway and failed terribly.
Someone who doesn’t make excuses would look at this experience and say, “This sucks.” But they would take it over because they wanted to be an astronaut. But you decided that you failed physics because you were terrible at physics. When people said, “You failed because you were sick,” you responded, “Yes, I see what you are saying, but I failed because I am terrible at physics. I couldn’t be an astronaut because I couldn’t pass physics.” You limited yourself. You stopped yourself from reaching your full potential and doing something cool! - because you saw your failing grade as an excuse.
You self-sabotaged.
So how do we stop? One of the ways to stop making excuses for ourselves is to recognize that we are making an excuse and address it.
Is the excuse valid? Would I believe it if someone else said it to me?
Why am I afraid of moving forward? What is that fear trying to tell me?
What’s the worst that can happen?
If I listen to this excuse and do nothing, what will happen?
What will happen if I don’t listen to this excuse and take action instead?
Do I really want to change?
What is my next step here?
Other ways to shake up your thoughts and stop self-sabotaging include:
Flip your “yes, buts” to “yes, ands.”
Get organized and clear your work and living space.
Limit distractions as much as possible.
Celebrate small wins along the way.
You know that saying, “everything you want is just outside your comfort zone,” is true. When you leave your comfort zone of cushy excuses and sweet self-sabotage, you start getting what you are working for. You stop feeling like the world is working against you and instead begin seeing how it works with you.
The end of self-sabotage is the beginning of success. Don’t forget that!
Ready to stop self-sabotaging?
Sabotaging ourselves can sometimes feel like it is ingrained in our bones. So how can you be expected to break free?
With my help, of course. In our sessions, we will work together to figure out the root cause of your self-sabotaging tendencies and create behavioral tools to help you flip those automatic responses so you can finally achieve your full potential for success.
Understanding Your Creative Brain: Finding Focus to Finally Finish What You Started
As a lifelong creative generalist, I've always had a million ideas claiming space in my head, all pulling at me and whispering to me to get me to do something about them. Rushes of inspiration fuel my imagination on the daily, igniting a spark within me to embark on countless projects. I know I'm not alone in this.
Many creatives and entrepreneurs (especially creative generalists) deal with this. It's particularly tricky when we're in our most innovative and passionate mode, the flow and excitement we achieve when we're at the beginning of a new project. This is often when we feel we have massive creative energy - enough to spare some for other projects while building this bright and beautiful new thing. And it is all great for a while. Until we find ourselves overwhelmed by a growing pile of half-finished exciting ideas we couldn't wait to get started on. For the longest time, this was true for me. I would get excited about something, start developing the idea, then slowly lose interest and eventually stop before I'd created anything worthwhile.
The truth is: the challenge with our creative brains is not how to generate ideas (we have those all the time!) but how to maintain the focus required to see them through.
If you can relate to this struggle, read on! In this article, I will share tips and strategies to help you navigate the labyrinth that is your creative brain and empower you to conquer the misery of unfinished projects once and for all.
Embracing your creative (and multi-passionate) brain.
When clients come to me for help with seeing their projects through, they often have a lot of negative things to say about their creative brains. I don't blame them; I used to feel the same way. I would get frustrated and ask myself why I wasn't able to stick to anything or why it was so easy for me to start projects and so hard for me to finish them.
Today, I feel differently about how my brain is wired. I'm proud of my creative generalist nature and the many ideas and interests that I enjoy. So the first step in getting good at getting things done is acknowledging the value of creative thinking: creative ideas are the building blocks of innovation and personal growth. It's essential to recognize the incredible power that creative ideas hold.
Another critical element in befriending your unique creative brain is understanding the importance of embracing your imagination. Instead of wishing you could stick to one idea, cultivate a mindset that encourages and celebrates imaginative thinking. Allow yourself to explore new ideas without judgment or limitations.
Finally, embracing your creative brain means embracing the process of iteration and experimentation. Creativity is never a linear path; it's a cycle of trial and error, refinement, and revision. Give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn from them. Not every project you start will need to be finished (see below for more on this crucial point!). Understand that not every idea will be a masterpiece, but each contributes to your growth as a creative human.
Sometimes quitting simply means you're done.
Before we dive into the truth that, yes, (multi-passionate) creatives and entrepreneurs start more projects than they finish and can indeed lack focus sometimes, an important side note must be made. For creative generalists, quitting something simply means we're done. Because of our hunger for knowledge, we can dive deep into a subject until we've explored it, satisfied our curiosity, and gained a comprehensive understanding. When that happens, we usually quit.
The problem is our finish line is often different from the finish line of society. When we get what we came for is precisely when other people tell us we should stick to it or even "turn it into a business." But that's not what generalists do because our true passion lies in exploring and pursuing new knowledge and ideas. We thrive on the thrill of discovery and the joy of learning, and once we have mastered a subject or dived into a project enough, according to our understanding, our attention naturally shifts to the next exciting idea that captures our imagination. So for us, quitting is not always a sign of failure or lack of commitment; it indicates that we have accomplished what we set out to do.
However, this is not always the case. We have been known (ahem) to start new projects we wanted to see through and leave those halfway accomplished too. What is going on when that happens?
Understanding your lack of focus.
There are many reasons why our initial focus can dissolve and turn into procrastination, overthinking, or even starting another project (I know). Still, one of the most important reasons for creatives and entrepreneurs is the curse of shiny object syndrome.
We must be willing to recognize the attractiveness of new ideas and our tendency to chase after the next exciting project without completing the current ones. Yes, we love new things, and they always seem so shiny and bright, especially when the thing we're working on is a bit harder than expected, a bit boring at times, or not going as planned. When that happens - which is NORMAL in any project - the allure of novelty and engaging with another idea is hard to withstand.
One of the most striking ways I see clients go through this is when their sales or marketing plans aren't working as they should. Instead of pushing through and keeping a focused approach to their marketing and sales activities, many clients will cancel the plan and try something else. The problem is: if you do this each time selling your product or service gets hard, you'll probably never sell anything because you're not giving the seeds you're planting enough time to take root and grow.
Another way lack of focus shows up is the fear of failure, often disguised as perfectionism. Perfectionism leads to self-doubt, over-analysis, and getting stuck. When you're struggling with completing projects, it's important to remember that the struggle is part of the process. Nobody delivers something new without at least a dash of doubt and uncertainty. Nobody delivers a new project perfectly. Embracing the struggle and accepting the imperfections as part of the creative process will allow you to reach the finish line more often.
How to finish what you start? Here are three tips that might help you:
Set micro-goals: I'm sure you've heard this before, but it works! Break down your project or goal into smaller, achievable tasks or milestones. On your to-do list, make sure only to list the smaller tasks (that you can do in one sitting) and not goals (this happens a lot, believe me, "finish my website" is a goal, not a task). Instead of focusing on the result, set specific and manageable task goals (my number is three daily tasks) for each day or week. This approach lets me make consistent progress while I maintain motivation along the way. By celebrating reaching my daily number every day, these small successes boost my confidence and help me keep going.
Practice strategic rest: While it's important to stay committed and focused, giving yourself the rest you need is equally vital! Don't push yourself to the edges of exhaustion; plan for strategic rest periods into your work days. Listen to your body and mind, and don't postpone taking breaks to recharge when needed. Engage in play and fun activities that relax and inspire you, such as walking in nature, practicing mindfulness, or your favorite hobby. I consider these breaks part of my work because they improve my productivity and prevent burnout, ultimately helping me to stay on track and focused.
Play a game with yourself: Turn your project into a fun and engaging game. I invite my clients to see their work as play and reward themselves for tasks they complete or milestones they achieve. Making work fun is excellent for maintaining motivation and increasing productivity. Create challenges, set milestones, and reward yourself for completing certain tasks or reaching specific checkpoints. For example, set a timer and challenge yourself to complete a task within a specific timeframe. Give yourself some points or a small reward once you've finished it.
Gamifying your work and projects adds an element of excitement. It can make the process more enjoyable - and thus more sustainable, especially when things don't go as planned (which they never do). It helps shift your mindset from watching Netflix to a playful and engaging way of tackling a task, increasing your chances of finishing what you start.
I hope these tips are helpful. I'd love to know how they work for you, so let me know! As you embark on a new creative project, remember that the path to success is not linear or even paved with only groundbreaking ideas. Success requires focus, discipline, and tenacity.
By embracing your creative mind and understanding how you're wired, you can become better at finishing what you start. So many of my clients and I are living proof of it. You, too, have the power to master your creative brain and finish what you start!
Tired of never finishing what you started?
Are you tired of starting projects, only to abandon them halfway through? Do you find yourself stuck in a cycle of unfinished goals, leaving you frustrated and unfulfilled? If so, it's time to get unstuck and achieve your true potential.
I understand the challenges you face (I’ve been there myself), and I’m here to help. Don't let unfinished projects keep weighing you down. Sign up for your free coaching session now. Together, let's turn your dreams into successes!