Career & Business Coaching Blog.
Inspiration and tips for multi-passionate creatives & entrepreneurs.
How to Improve Your Life and Business
Have you ever thought about how incredibly limiting the word “but” is? It’s like a stop sign, halting us on our journey. Even when we are agreeing with someone, the moment “but” comes out of our mouths, it negates everything we just said.
“You’re right, but…”
“Okay, I will, but…”
“Yes, I will clean that up, but…”
“But” is a fatalistic word. When you use it, you redirect the conversation from what could be to what cannot. Unconsciously, when we “yes, but”, we give into the fear and hesitation that are holding us back, without realizing it. When you throw a “but” at something, you’ve predetermined that some outcome is inevitable. You stop yourself from following through. “Yes, buts” are excuses wrapped up to look like agreements. That’s why they’re so important to spot.
“Yes, and” on the other hand is the key to infinite possibilities.
Every few years, I try to do something to get out of my comfort zone and push my limits. So a few years ago, I enrolled in an improv class. Anyone who knows me personally knows that this was VERY outside of my comfort zone. I’m an introvert and love my alone time, so the idea of taking this class was quite overwhelming, and it did, admittedly, take a while for me to get into it. But once I did, I was hooked!
During this class, I was taught the concept of “yes, and.” In improv, “yes, and” keeps the bit going, keeping the theater goers, and the cast members, on their toes, pushing the story along. By using this word, cast members are fostering cooperation and communication between one another, rather than shutting down, and, in turn, they’re able to build trust with one another quickly. Which is what makes the whole process fun for them and the theater goer.
Now, what if we take that model and apply it to business and life? In business, “yes, and” actually encourages you to listen and be receptive to the ideas of others. It creates trust between parties and encourages you to try out different strategies for success. Even if you’re a solo entrepreneur without a team, this method will inhibit you from making excuses for yourself and pushes you to stay open to the possibilities that surround you.
Think about it! When you’re trying to come up with a new client workflow, but you keep stopping yourself because of your fear of how long it will take to implement, you’re saying, “Yes, I agree I need a new workflow, but it will take too much time.” If you’re like me, you spiral and start thinking about all the things you will have to change, all the different systems you will have to implement, and how you are going to explain it to your clients. Doing so you create what I refer to as a “mountain”: an insurmountable melting pot of all the things that you believe need to happen before you can actually do the thing. That’s what “but” does to life, it creates mountains to climb instead of showing you a walkable path forward. But (pun intended) if we use the “yes, and” method, we are focusing on the end goal - having a streamlined workflow that will make our lives easier in the end.
Let me give you an example from my own business. In 2021, I decided to transfer my website over from one web host to another. This was a HUGE undertaking and one that I had been putting off for - literally - years. Instead of continuing to say, “yes I should do that, but the workload will be too much for me.” I thought, “yes I should do that, and I will start small.” It took me a while, but over the course of six months or so, I had moved everything over from Wordpress to Squarespace, including the manual transfer of 250 blog posts! - which has allowed me to improve my SEO and the performance of my website in such a way that allowed my coaching practice to grow exponentially - essentially improving my life and business.
Ready to trade your “buts” for “ands?” Here are my five best tips to start improv-ing your business and life, getting unstuck, and leaving yourself open for the possibilities that are just around the corner:
Commit to “yes, and.” from now on. It’s not enough to just say yes, you have to commit to it. Change your mindset for the long-term, make it a habit to avoid the word “but” as much as you can. .
Be part of the team. Listen to your teammates, whether they are your business partner, spouse, or children, with an open mind. You don’t have to agree with everything they say, but you need to respect their suggestions and consider how they might work for your particular issue.
Be part of the solution. Don’t just ask questions and point out obstacles, instead share ideas and work on the solution with your team. Keep adding creatively to what you are building, and let flow and inspiration guide you.
Recognize that there are no mistakes, only opportunities. Some of the best ideas will come from accidents. If you say “but” to everything, you won’t give yourself the chance to experience new things - and fail at them. Failure deserves to be celebrated, AND to be learned from 🙂
Make sure your team has your back. Your team should be made up of people who will push you into taking new opportunities and trying out new strategies, rather than sitting back and letting you call all the shots. Even the best employers or business owners need a gut check from someone they trust.
Remember, these tips will also work easily for a solo entrepreneur without a team. Instead of focusing on collaborating with others, you are focusing on dropping your internal guards and learning to acknowledge what you really want out of your life and business. Do you want to work 60 hour weeks? Do you want to build in monthly retreats for yourself? Are there days you want to keep your children home from daycare? The “yes, and” method will help you lead you to greater self-trust and confidence, which will, infinitely, enhance your life and business.
The point of the “yes, and” method is to allow you to become more adaptable to change. The businesses that do the best work are the ones that can encourage new ideas and perspectives, stay flexible, and stay open to new possibilities.
The key is to treat your life and business like an improv class. Keep your heart and mind open to the suggestions of others - even your inner child - and before you say “yes, but,” think about what opportunities saying “yes, and” could bring about.
What would change? How would your life and business improve if you said yes and then became a part of the collective intelligence, of the amazing experience that is your life?
Afraid to say, “yes, and?”
It can be overwhelming to try new things or to follow through on elaborate plans. Saying, “yes, and” can be scary, but the possibilities it opens you and your business up to are worth the fear. I tell my clients all the time to just take a leap! One step in front of the other until you are out in open air, soaring above the ground.
You are capable of scary things and I’m here to help! In our coaching sessions, I help my clients identify the cliff, assemble the parachute, and take that first - or tenth - step towards the edge. We will review your “yes, buts,” and see how your life and business can improve with a little “yes, and” flip!
Navigating Entrepreneurial Growing Pains
Have you ever experienced that phenomenon where you are in a really slow season of your business, begging the Universe to provide you with more opportunities to grow, and then all of a sudden every available opportunity hits at once? You’re so excited for the chance to do business and show off your skills, so you say yes to everything, working yourself to the bone trying to hit all your deadlines on time, but then you finish and need a month or two of rest to recover.
Me too.
Since starting my entrepreneurial journey, I’ve had a hard time enjoying the fruits of all my hard work. I’d spend so much time setting up trying to drum up business without seeing any results. Then all of a sudden, the business opportunities would fly in and I’d be completely overwhelmed. I often felt like a chicken with my head cut off, running around with no sustainable strategy for how to get all this work done without burning out.
In the years since, I’ve tried many tools to get through these busy seasons without burning out, but the ones that worked the best, that have continued to work for me, are the ones that seem counterintuitive. When I’m in my busiest season, the best thing I can do is slow down and take a breath. Even now, when I’m busier than ever, I struggle to manage my time without taking a moment to pause and reflect.
By pausing, I’m able to create a strategy for this particular busy season that allows me to thrive. Here are a few of the strategies that help me manage the growing pains, both personally and in my business:
Identify your vision and mission. All businesses start with a vision, whether it’s a vision of your personal future or the future of your company. When we’re in our busy seasons, we can lose focus of what it is we set out to do when we started our entrepreneurial endeavors. By setting aside time to refocus on the purpose behind our businesses or projects, and what we hope to get out of it, we’re better able to set boundaries and stave off overwhelm.
Create your ideal team. When your business is growing and you’re struggling to meet demand, building a solid team around you is one of the best things you can do to alleviate stress. But great teams are not created accidentally. It takes time, patience, and a want to surround yourself with people you can effectively manage and interact with. That’s why it’s important to work on this when things aren’t busy. But if you haven’t, don’t fall into the trap of not doing it when you need it most! Once your ideal team is assembled, fervent energy manifests and stress dissipates, leaving only creative approaches to handling your growing pains.
Learn to delegate. Entrepreneurs and small business owners usually strike out on their own because they want to be their own boss. And when you have spent time working for yourself, doing all the tasks, and only having to hold yourself accountable, you can forget to delegate when things get busy. Look for support based on individual skills and expertise. Take advantage of it, let go of trying to do everything yourself, and the growing pains will be easier to navigate (and you’ll *finally* learn to delegate!).
Build strategy and SOPs early on. It’s important to have strategy and standard operating procedures in place prior to, or at least at the beginning of, the busy season to help prevent growing pains from stalling your work. I hired Alex recently, a new and amazing Chief of Staff. It's been a good year since I knew I had to find support to be able to navigate my growing business. So I’d started recording weekly marketing and communications tasks using Loom. When Alex came on board a few weeks ago, she had a (albeit small) library of SOPs to get her going.
Letting go of growth and being okay with it. There’s this pressure in business that makes it seem like every idea, every project, needs to be striving for maximum growth. But what if you don’t want maximum growth? What if you’re content with where your business is and not enjoying the experience of growing pains? It’s okay to sit back and relax into the comfort of where you are right now. Also, a company can be a company of one and be very successful. There’s an amazing book by Paul Jarvis that speaks exactly to that. If staying lean and free of the burden of growth is your goal, I recommend you read it.
Life as an entrepreneur is always exciting. There’s always an opportunity for growth, both personally and professionally. They give you a chance to dig deep and push yourself to identify what systems are working for you, what isn’t necessary for success, and help you see what needs to evolve and what can be let go.
Overwhelmed by too many opportunities?
The five steps above sound easy to some entrepreneurs, but for most they might find it difficult to take that pause. In the past 25 years, I’ve experienced similar issues, both in my own work and in my client’s. This is why I became a certified career and business coach: I wanted my clients to navigate building and growing businesses and projects with ease and flow, and without the overwhelm.
You deserve an opportunity to see your company grow and not feel overwhelmed or stressed. In our coaching sessions, we will dive deep into how to grow your business successfully, your vision and mission for it, and how we can get you there feeling confident and fulfilled.
Brainstorming: The Disney Strategy For Finding Clarity And Getting Unstuck
If you're feeling stuck and need some clarity, brainstorming may be the answer! But not just any kind of brainstorming, the kind that doesn't kill your dreams before they even take shape in your mind.
The Disney strategy is a great way to get started. This strategy involves several steps for analyzing a problem, generating solutions or ideas to resolve it, evaluating those ideas, and finally constructing and critically reviewing a plan of action. I love this way of approaching a problem, especially when you feel there's nothing you can do to fix it. Often our lack of options or our difficulty in seeing the alternatives available comes from fear disguised as a strong focus to find flaws in any plan or course of action we come up with.
Clearly state the problem and brainstorm solutions
You start by clearly stating the problem or question you want to brainstorm about and what the task is you want to resolve.
For instance: "I want to move to a sunny location, preferably by the ocean, but I can't quit my job at the grocery store because I need to fund my life when I'm there. How can I ensure I will be financially secure to make this move?"
When I brainstorm possibilities or questions like this with clients, they all start with very few answers, sometimes none. But when we get creative, think outside of the box and go a little wild and crazy on what solutions might look like, we're always able to create an extended (and fun!) list of options to choose from.
For the question above, after a little bit of thinking and digging, the list might look something like this:
Not move and stay where I am.
Find a grocery store job where I want to be living.
Start my own business.
Get an inheritance, so I don't have to work at all.
Move to a sunny location and get a job that can be done online.
Start a GoFundMe page and ask for donations to help with the move.
Find a wealthy partner who already lives by the ocean.
Sell my art and pottery.
Become a coast guard.
Organize beach weddings and become a wedding photographer.
...
As you can see, the list above contains a mix of very realistic and not-so-realistic options. And that's ok! The goal is to get as many ideas on paper (or in your notes app) as possible.
Don't censor yourself while you're coming up with ideas
One unique thing about this approach is that no criticism is allowed while you're in brainstorming mode. And you're invited to come up with the wildest ideas and as many ideas as possible. This is what makes this method so unique. It's named after Walt Disney because he was a hard realist who was critical of his ideas and knew how to dream up the biggest and most impossible dreams first.
After coming up with creative ideas, Disney also introduced the practice at his animation studios. He would encourage his animators to "go wild" with their ideas and generate as many possibilities as they could. While doing this, nobody was allowed to criticize or downplay an idea. No feedback at all was being given. The only goal was to come up with as many possibilities as possible. There was plenty of time to think about their feasibility later.
In the 1990s, Robert B. Dilts developed a creative technique based on how Walt Disney brainstormed and called it the Walt Disney method. The original technique is meant to help a small group of four to six people develop new ideas and solutions. The basis for this is three roles that Walt Disney used during his creative process: the dreamer, the realist, and the critic:
The dreamer: This person comes up with as many ideas and possibilities as possible.
The realist: This person is responsible for looking at the ideas and judging which ones are realistic and feasible and which ones are not.
The critic: This person's job is to find flaws in the ideas and help improve them.
Narrow down your list and set priorities
After you've come up with as many ideas as possible, it's time to evaluate your options, so you don't get overwhelmed by them. This is the realist's job. The best way to do this is to narrow down your choices using your intuition and ask yourself:
What would you like to do?
What could you realistically do in the short term?
What are the most important factors for you?
What are your priorities?
Once you're clear on your top priorities, start using logic to categorize them and make informed choices. List the positive and negative aspects of each option.
For example, if one of your options is to get a job at a grocery store, the pros might be that you would get a regular paycheck, and it would be easy to find jobs like this. The cons might be that it's not the kind of work you want to do long-term, and it's not in the location you want to be living.
Make a choice and create a plan to move forward
Once you've examined your options, weigh the pros and cons and then make a choice. This is where the critic comes in. They help you to find flaws in the ideas and improve them. After you've made a decision, it's time to create a plan and take action.
If you've decided to get a job at a grocery store, your next steps might be to research which stores are hiring in your area and then submit your resume. Or, if you've decided to start your own business, your next steps might be to research what kind of business you want to start and then create a business plan. Whatever you decide, make sure to put even a tiny plan together, so you know what the next step to take is.
The Disney Strategy is a great way to find clarity and get unstuck! Brainstorming is a great way to see all the possibilities out there waiting for you, but doing it without holding yourself back is much more powerful! So next time you feel stuck, remember Disney and try it.
You might be surprised by what you come up with when you don't put any limits on yourself.
Feeling stuck in your career and life?
Private coaching is a great way to get unstuck and find new opportunities. As a certified coach I will help you identify your goals and create a plan to achieve them. You’ll be amazed at how much progress you can make in just a few weeks.
Coaching can help you achieve anything you want in life. With the right coach, you can finally break through the barriers that have been holding you back for years. Stop dreaming and start doing – learn more about private coaching today!